Apart from sun, on foreign holidays we are usually seeking fab scenery and cultural exotica – the different food, beautiful architecture, historic art. As we tour the landscapes and museums we rarely consider the inhabitants’ minds. Yet “mind tourism” adds a whole dimension to a country, allowing you to understand its intrinsic character. Aspects of a place that seem strange and unusual start to make sense when you get some insight into the way the locals think — and why.

I discovered mind tourism’s joys in 2004 while spending three weeks each in seven countries. Because I was working, writing a book about the psychology of different nations, I did not enter a single art gallery. But by accident, a whole new tourist vista opened up — and it could be the same for you.

You do not have to be a social scientist, all you need is nosiness. It can be any aspect of the national psyche, from how they bring up their children to the way they love. Keep your eyes peeled and your ears open, and you will quickly identify questions that produce surprising answers which enhance your appreciation of the culture of that country. You may even return home with a few ideas about how to enjoy your life better.

For example, you only have to spend five minutes wandering around Moscow to realise that the women are, on the whole, exceptionally attractive. Normally, you would just shrug your shoulders and think how lucky they are to be so blessed by nature. But the mind tourist does not leave it at that.

After interviewing quite a few of the women there I discovered that their gorgeousness has little to do with nature. It results from them pursuing their own ideal of beauty, rather than trying to live up to some external standard. They explained that they do not doll themselves up to make men desire them or women envy them. The person they are trying to please is the one they see in the mirror.

Equally intriguing, most of the men in Denmark were slim and well turned-out. It emerged that 60 years of sexual equality has meant that the men have twigged that beer-bellies and poor personal hygiene are not desirable — a lesson, alas, that some Brits have still to learn.

However, the mind tourist is not only intrigued by visible physical differences, such as fashion and body shape. There are also plenty of fascinating social practices, and these are usually uncovered by grilling the locals.

On my first day in Shanghai, I met someone who had been raised by their grandmother. Subsequently, I asked everyone I met who had cared for them. With only one exception, the grandmother had been left holding the baby. This was partly because of the one-child policy, creating two grandmothers fighting for access to the one grandchild. But it was also a long-standing practice that predated communism.

It helped me to understand how the populace could be so cheerful and optimistic, despite decades of totalitarianism — almost everyone in China has had very good nurture during their early years, providing an inoculation against subsequent adversities.

In Singapore, everyone I met had been beaten by their parents — again, once I had heard the first case, I made a point of asking all the people I met how they were punished in childhood. It is still the case that most families have a cane hanging on the wall. Once you knew this central role of corporal punishment it made it easier to understand the compliance of Singaporeans to a very strict government — it’s an offence to throw chewing gum on the road there. It also went some way to explaining the downcast expressions and lack of joyfulness, all too visible on the streets.

These examples emerged only from questioning the locals. You are listening for something that puzzles you or seems different from what you are used to. It helps to have a checklist of subjects in the back of your mind (see below), simple questions that will reveal surprising practices and customs.

For instance, humour. When in New Zealand I met one of its leading satirists. I had found his fellow citizens exceptionally decent and full of integrity, albeit a bit earnest, and I suggested it must provide plenty of ammunition for someone of his trade. His surprising reply was typical of the national character: it would be unforgivable to satirise such fine attributes, he would hate to sneer at his citizens for being so authentic — hard to imagine Paul Whitehouse or Ricky Gervais saying that.

Of course, I am not suggesting that you devote your whole holiday to interrogating hapless natives, just that you keep your social radar switched on. In my case, the British Council fixed me up with interviewees, but I often found out important information just from snatched conversations in coffee shops.

An obvious place to start is with the people serving you in hotels, restaurants or bars. But on the beaches or sitting on buses or in queues at super-markets there are always local people who have nothing better to do than chat. You don’t leap straight into the deepest subjects, but just mention early on in the exchange that you are curious to understand the country better, to put them at their ease. This is also done by explaining our customary practices and asking if they do it differently. It’s surprising how much people will tell you about themselves in a short time and how much they love generalising about their countries.

In the upmarket Sydney suburb of Paddington, it was a waiter who put me on to the fact that here is a place even more obsessed by interior decor and property prices than London. Subsequently, one interviewee told me that when he had refused to go and look at his friend’s new bathroom, he had almost been thrown out of the house for being so uninterested.

It does not matter what captures your attention — it could be the locals’ love of flip-flops or of dangerous driving. The key is to notice that the places you are visiting also have people — and there’s nowt as interesting as folk.

Affluenza – How to be Successful and Stay Sane, by Oliver James, is published by Vermilion at £17.99.

Who, what, why?

Follow up all these questions with “was that so in your case?”

Who tends to look after children when they are small here?

Are parents strict?

Is it very competitive at school?

What do women here look for in a man (or vice versa)?

At what age do women usually get married? Men?

What are the most important things in life for people here?

Are many people religious?

Do people work long hours?

Do families eat together at home?

Do people enjoy American films and television programmes?

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