Enough with festivals the size of the Falklands. Enough of the endless marketing and the toilets in association with T-Mobile. And enough with the mass-produced botulism burgers you wouldn’t feed to a dying dictator.

Instead, here are a dozen of the UK’s finest boutique festivals – all catering to no more than 5,000 people, all with a considerable nod towards green and ethical living, and all a lot more fun than that Glasto lark, anyway.

1 BEACH BREAK LIVE Polzeath, Cornwall; June 9-12; 5,000 capacity

One of the best lineups of the summer has been attracted to a shindig that is run primarily for students, near one of Britain’s best beaches. If you’re not quite a student and are wondering if you could sneak in anyway, the answer is probably – so long as you’re down with the kids. As a test, what are the following: Does It Offend You, Yeah; Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly; Joe Lean and the Jing Jang Jong; and Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip? If you answered, “They’re all bands, you idiot,” then you should be fine. If not, best leave ’em to their mud-wrestling, slippery slides, fruit golf and ecofriendly hot tubs, in the grounds of Carruan Farm. All food, beer, water and supplies are sourced from Cornwall, and surfing lessons, coasteering, rock-climbing and kayaking are available. Tickets £79; www.beachbreaklive.com

Europe's 20 best summer music festivals 2008

Missed out on tickets or weary of the British weather? Head to the Continent for a proper holiday with the best of soundtracks

Britain's 20 best summer music festivals 2008

Twenty weekends, twenty great festivals: the best rock, pop and dance events from May to September

• Britain's 12 best boutique festivals

BACKGROUND

• Sahara blues in Mali with Robert Plant

• Jigging on Jersey

• Rocking all over the world

• Music under the Tuscan Sun

• Fjord fiesta at Iceland's outer limits

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• Britain's 20 best summer music festivals 2008

2 BLISSFIELDS Matterley Bowl, Winchester; July 4-6; 5,000

Wood-fired pizzas, free-range chicken tikkas, handmade dairy ice cream, fresh crepes, tempura prawns, whitebait boxes, organic foot-long sausages, organic filter coffee and fresh smoothies – the bliss in Blissfields might seem to refer primarily to the catering. But with a lineup including the return of the Wonder Stuff, and Roni Size, as well as Lethal Bizzle, the Rumble Strips, Infadels and more than 100 other acts, and a commitment to be carbon neutral, there should be enough alternative action to find your own nirvana. Weekend tickets £60, day tickets from £30; www.blissfields.co.uk

3 CHAGSTOCK Whiddon Down, Devon; July 11-12; 5,000

Just a few years ago, this was some friends and their kids playing some music and having too many drinks in a back garden in Devon. As the word spread, so did Chagstock’s ambition, and this year they have a licence for a few thousand to join in at a site on Whiddon Down. Ella Edmondson – the singer/songwriter daughter of Jennifer Saunders and Ade Edmondson – returns, and Hothouse Flowers headline. There are crepes and curries, a kids’ area with a pirate ship, and a very definite noncorporate sensibility. It’s run on a not-for-profit basis: proceeds go to the Devon Air Ambulance trust and Wateraid, as well as local youth charities. Tickets £35, day tickets from £12.50; www.chagstock.info

4 TWO THOUSAND TREES Upcote Farm, Cheltenham; July 11-12; 2,500

As its name suggests, the aim here, along with goofing about in a field to some fine music, is to promote green issues. Last year, TTT’s recycling rate was 66%; this year, all food and drink will be served in reusable or biodegradable packaging and will be locally sourced and organic, and all the power and lighting will be produced using locally sourced biodiesel. All very well and good, but is it fun? Well, over the two nights, Reuben, the Duke Spirit (with the lovely Leila Moss), Art Brut and These New Puritans will be performing, with more than 40 other acts, across three stages. Weekend tickets £39; www.twothousandtreesfestival.co.uk

5 LOUNGE ON THE FARM Canterbury, Kent; July 11-13; 5,000

Now in its third year, LOTF is a local event on a grand scale. This is a garden party run by the cool kids of the village, who just happen to know bands like the Bees, Lightspeed Champion, Findlay Brown and Black Kids, and DJs of the calibre of Jon Carter and Midfield General as well as Terry Hall and Kevin Rowland. All the fruit and veg served are grown within a 20-mile radius of the site at Merton Farm, near Canterbury; the booze comes from local breweries, with cider from Rick Stein Food Hero Pawley Farm, and ale from Kent’s own Hopdaemon brewery; and even the pigs on the hog roast are hand-reared. Weekend tickets £65; www.loungeonthefarm.co.uk

6 BUDDHAFIELD Taunton, Somerset; July 16-20; 3,000

“Are you sure?” you cry. “A festival without alcohol, or drugs, or even – whisper it – dogs?” But yes, as its name might suggest, Buddhafield isn’t your normal bunch of loons, sorted for Es and whizz and standing in a field with 20,000 others. Though there is a field, it is largely filled with those seeking enlightenment – or at the very least a weekend off – via Buddhism, meditation, healing, yoga, chanting, fancy dress, workshops and music. Weekend tickets £88; www.buddhafield.com

7 FURNESSFEST Hawcoat, Cumbria; July 18-20; 2,500

Brand new for this year, Furnessfest has been established to give local talent a chance to shine next to more established names, so Californian surf punks OPM will play alongside the excellent Aim (aka local boy and downbeat hip-hop master Andy Turner). The setting is lovely, overlooking the sea at Sinkfall Farm, Barrow-in-Furness is only a few miles away, and there are various workshops, children’s activities and five-a-side football to keep you from the bars. Weekend tickets £50; www.furnessfest.co.uk

8 STANDON CALLING Ware, Hertfordshire; August 1-3; 2,000

A tiddler compared to some, but punching well above its weight, Standon Calling boasts Super Furry Animals, Mystery Jets, Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip and Late of the Pier. It all kicks off at midday on Friday in the grounds of a 16th-century manor house: guests can splash in the outdoor pool and explore this year’s Japanese theme while availing themselves of the numerous bars and stages. All the packaging sold here is fully biodegradable, and there are regular litter patrols, posh loos and camping alternatives for those who are tent-averse – not least the Japanese-themed One Night Standon Love Hotel. Weekend tickets £89; www.standon-calling.com

9 SUMMER SUNDAE WEEKENDER Leicester; August 8-10; 5,000

A three-dayer with a belter of a lineup, the SSW will see Macy Gray, Mystery Jets, Cold War Kids, King Creosote, Supergrass, Simian Mobile Disco, Roisin Murphy and the Coral do their collective things across five stages at its De Montford Hall site. But it’s not all about the noise – last year, the SSW won a Greener Festival award for its carbon-neutral status, and many more recycling initiatives will be in operation this year, including handing out camera-film canisters for smokers to put their fag ends in. Weekend tickets, £100; www.summersundae.com

10 SHAMBALA Northamptonshire; August 22-24; 2,500

These days, festival organisers have to provide so much more than a band and a bar. So Shambala’s organisers are entertaining their guests before they even arrive, with a guided 100-mile cycle trip from Bristol to the site as part of a sustainable-transport initiative. If you’ve still got any energy left, once you arrive at this anticorporate and family-friendly jamboree, now in its ninth year, there’s a huge roller disco, a hot-tub village, nu-school barn dancing and more than 100 bands playing on seven stages, as well as the largest kids’ area outside Glastonbury, a cinema, arts, workshops, fancy dress and cabaret. And there’s a pub selling organic ales and ciders. Tickets £89; www.shambalafestival.org

11 END OF THE ROAD Larmer Tree Gardens, north Dorset; September 12-14; 5,000

Some people talk about putting on their own perfect festival. And other people sell their house, move their family into rented accommodation and start plotting what turns out to be End of the Road. Such commitment was shown by painter and decorator Simon Taffe, who went part-time in order to set up EOTR with a few other equally impassioned chums. And an accountant. Having won the Best New Festival at the UK Festival Awards in 2006, its first year, EOTR is upping the ante with a lineup that includes Mercury Rev, Baby Dee, Conor Oberst, British Sea Power, Billy Childish, Calexico and Kurt Wagner from Lambchop. There’s also a library in the woods, a healing retreat and film and comedy tents. Weekend camping tickets £105; www.endoftheroadfestival.com

12 LOOPALLU Ullapool, Ross-shire; September 19-20; 2,500

Small, miles away from anywhere – the nearest big town is an hour away – and almost certainly beset by some sort of dramatic weather during the weekend, Loopallu still manages to attract a few thousand hardy revellers. Why? Partly because “everyone is drunk all weekend” (according to the organisers), partly because it’s held right in the middle of the village (the population doubles in size during the festival, and locals profit greatly from Loopalluists using the village amenities, stores and pubs) and partly because last year they got Franz Ferdinand to play – and this year they’re promising someone even bigger. And no, they wouldn’t tell me who. Or give me a clue. Sorry. Weekend tickets £50; www.loopallu.co.uk

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