Just a fortnight to go until large swathes of the planet let down their hair,
rev up their pulse rate and descend into rip-roaring, booty-shaking,
speaker-busting party mayhem. Yep, Carnival’s on its way — and if you know
where to look, you can still find tickets for the biggest annual thrash on
earth.
But why stop there? Maybe it’s the alignment of the planets, maybe there’s
something in the water, maybe there’s just nothing on the telly — but the
whole world’s going party mad this year. At any given moment, there’s some
serious revelry taking place: supercool clubbers in Miami or hell-raising
Icelandic youth on a far-flung volcanic island; Thais with water pistols or
Aussies with attitude; cultured Venetians at costume balls or roughhousing
rednecks in a pit of mud. And there’s no reason why you can’t join them.
Ashamed to indulge in so much irresponsible hedonism? Don’t be. It’s
educational. The party traveller gets insights the ordinary tourist doesn’t:
every nation and culture has its own version of a good time, and to see
people having it is to see them at their most unguarded and revealing. (And,
often, their most drunk. But we won’t mention that.)
All you need is the inside info: who, what, where, why, and how loud. Which is
just what our eclectic selection of the best bashes of 2006 will give you.
Chuck on your party best, grab the passport and the Berocca, and off we
go...
Unless stated, all packages include flights from London and transfers.
Check with the operator for regional or Irish departures.
CARNIVAL
Venice and Brazil,
February 25-28
For many of us, carnival means Brazil. Rio is the most glamorous, Salvador the
most full-on, but both are pretty commercialised, and their sheer size can
be intimidating.
Instead, go for Olinda. For the rest of the year, the lovely old colonial
centre of this little seaside suburb of Recife is quiet enough, but at
carnival time, the atmosphere of arty respectability falls away and the
narrow streets are packed with blocos (samba bands), travestis (transvestite
paraders) and bonecos (huge papier-mâché figures), all moving to the local
frevo and maracatu numbers. Where its bigger siblings are brash and
exploitative, Olinda is playful, with home-grown costumes that are often
more witty than glitzy — a saucy dancing dentist, Death boogie-ing with his
scythe, body-builders adorned with delicate fairy wings. Friendly, authentic
and sinuously sexy, this is the real deal. Last Frontiers (01296 653000, www.lastfrontiers.com
) has five nights, B&B, in Olinda from the 24th, followed by two nights
at the beach, from £1,520pp.
If you want something a little more cultured and decorous, it’s close at hand.
Venice Carnevale officially gets started on Saturday, but the wildest period
costumes and the biggest crush in Piazza San Marco will be on the weekend of
the 25th and the night of the 28th, Mardi Gras itself. If you’re outside,
put on thermals under the fancy dress — it’s chilly. The real action’s
indoors, though, at the fabulous masked balls. Liaisons Abroad (0870 421
4020, www.liaisonsabroad.com
) has a wide selection of tickets for the top bashes, while Kirker (0870 112
3333, www.kirkerholidays.com
) has three nights’ B&B at a three-star hotel from £564pp,
arriving on the 25th.
WINTER MUSIC CONFERENCE
Miami, late March
Put your hands in the air for the dance-music event of the year. This is the
big one, and every half-decent DJ in the world will be there — John Digweed,
Sasha, Paul Van Dyk and hundreds more — along with tens of thousands of
revved-up clubbers ready to take a town that already lives to party into
overdrive.
Officially, WMC runs from the 24th to the 28th, but this year it’s
kick-started by the Global Gathering festival on the previous weekend: the
upshot is that you can expect nine days of bass-driven mayhem. It can be
cliquey, though — if your name’s not on the list, and so on — so how do you
get the best out of it? First, book your room now: the hippest hotels are
the Clinton (00 1 305-938 4040, www.clintonsouthbeach.com; doubles during
WMC from about £160) and the Shelborne (531 1271, www.shelborne.com; from
about £200), whose own club, Shine, will hold some of the best DJ parties.
Second, book a few sessions early at www.wantickets.com
: VIP queue-jumper tickets will be on sale soon for clubs such as Mansion
and Opium, in South Beach, or Nocturnal and Pawn Shop, downtown.
Third — relax. Just about everywhere with a power outlet will be plugging in
the speakers, so between the informal beach parties and the clubs, you’re
guaranteed a dancefloor 24/7. Literally: it’s when the beach scene winds
down at 6am that Space, Miami’s downtown uber-club, really gets going.
Virgin Atlantic (0870 574 7747, www.virginatlantic.com
) has flights in March from £328.
SONGKRAN
Thailand, April 13-15
Enough trendiness: let’s get messy. No better place or time than Songkran, in
Chiang Mai, northern Thailand. The water festival that marks the Buddhist
new year has its spiritual side — images of Buddha are bathed, monks are
anointed with perfumed water — but for most, it’s the mother of all water
battles that’s the attraction.
The moat that surrounds the old town provides ammunition for buckets, squeezy
bottles and handheld water cannons as the entire town gets involved in a
liquid version of the Gunfight at the OK Corral. Unlike other messy
festivals, such as India’s Holi — which too often degenerates into an excuse
for manhandling tourists — here you’ll be soaked with a smile. Foreigners
are welcome to join in, and everyone is fair game for a drenching (policemen
and monks excepted). Premier Holidays (0870 889 0812, www.premierholidays.co.uk
) has an 11-night tour, taking in Chiang Mai during Songkran, from £1,299pp.
ASAKUSA SANJA MATSURI
Tokyo, May 19-21
A singular chance to see a million normally restrained Japanese losing their
collective marbles in spectacular fashion. It’s basically a sort of
sightseeing tour for the gods from Tokyo’s Asakusa shrine: they’re
transported around the neighbourhoods in style in their own mikoshi,
elaborately decorated portable shrines. They get a bumpy ride — the more
shaken up they are, the more blessings they will bestow as they pass.
Everyone comes, old and young, geishas and gangsters.
The latter, the much-feared yakuza, are a sight in themselves: this is the
only time of year they’re allowed to bare their gang tattoos, and many strip
to the waist, showing every inch below the neck and wrists covered in lurid
artwork. There’s also dancing, fairs and the eager consumption of yakitori
chicken, beer and sake. Jaltour (020 7462 5577, www.jaltour.co.uk
) has four-night packages to Tokyo at festival time from £689pp.
LE MANS 24 HOURS
France, June 17-18
Petrolheads won’t be able to resist the siren sound of over-revved engines
echoing over the Channel. You may not see much of the race — 250,000
spectators turn up — but the all-night thrash that surrounds it is the real
heart of Le Mans, anyway. It’s about booze, pit bunnies, booze,
turbochargers and booze: the tent with the biggest beer mountain (that’s an
artistically stacked pile of empties) outside draws admiring glances. Bring
ear plugs and fireworks, and don’t go on the karting rides when you can’t
stand up. For tickets, visit www.lemans.org
: take the car with Eurotunnel (0870 535 3535, www.eurotunnel.com; returns
from £98), or Brittany Ferries (0870 366 5333, www.brittany-ferries.co.uk
), which has the more convenient Portsmouth-Caen route from about £240 for a
car and passengers. Accommodation? Camp, or sleep in the car. It’s Le Mans,
for God’s sake.
REDNECK OLYMPICS
USA, July 9
We like this one. The 10th Redneck Olympics, in East Dublin, Georgia, will see
about 15,000 good ol’ boys and girls gather in the name of sports — the
sports in question being the mud-pit belly flop, the armpit serenade, the
hubcap hurl and the blue-riband event, bobbing for raw pigs’ trotters. “The
kids always win the armpit serenade,” says the organiser, Jeff Kidd. “Your
armpits just sort of lose that musical tone as you grow, I guess.” Anyone
can enter, with the belly flop — a full-on dive into a mud pit, with the
messiest splash winning — a favourite for weightier visitors. There’s food,
dancing and live music till midnight; entrance costs £2.90. Bon Voyage (0800
316 0194, www.bon-voyage.co.uk
) has a seven-night fly-drive, starting and ending in Atlanta, with a night
in East Dublin, from £745pp.
VERSLUNARMANNAHELGI
Iceland (where else?), August 5-7
Possibly the most far-flung party in the world, but also one of the best. The
Verslunarmannahelgi festival is celebrated nationwide, but the best place to
enjoy it is the Westman Islands, a bunch of volatile volcanic rocks off the
south coast. The entire population of the main island, Heimaey, sets up camp
in a valley, and 5,000 descendants of Erik the Red come over from the
mainland to join them for hillside folk sing-alongs, delicious meals of
boiled puffin, bonfires, fireworks and dancing. It’s a North Atlantic Ibiza
— don’t expect much sleep. Regent (01983 864212, www.regent-holidays.co.uk
) has two nights in Reykjavik and three in the Westman Islands from £740pp.
LOST VAGUENESS
Sussex, August 18-20 (probably)
Is it just us, or are all the Brit-fest blockbusters — T in the Park, the
Big Chill, Leeds and Reading (there’s no Glastonbury this year) — getting a
bit stale? Time for a change.
Everything about this year’s Lost Vagueness lives up to the name. They’re not
sure when it’ll be (though they think the 18th to the 20th), where (probably
near Lewes, in Sussex), or how much it’ll cost (£75, at a guess). No matter:
it’s well worth seeking out. Previously a festival-within-the-festival at
Glastonbury, it’s a bizarre creation: a twisted fantasy world with a
ballroom, a boudoir, a casino, a diner and an outdoor stage, studded with
art installations and patrolled by performers of all kinds. Scissor Sisters
reckon Lost Vagueness is what heaven will be like — which is all you need to
know. Visit www.lostvagueness.com
.
IBIZA CLOSING PARTIES
Ibiza, September 11 to October 1
This is where the clubbing summer reaches its climax, and if past form is
anything to go by, the biggest and probably the best will be Space, in Playa
d’en Bossa. It was a riot in 2005, with John Digweed and Jeff Mills working
the cavernous main room while Ibiza’s most beautiful people kissed goodbye
to the summer on the gorgeous terrace. Be smart and book early at www.space-ibiza.es
. Ibiza mainstay Pete Tong reckons EasyJet (www.easyjet.co.uk) is the way to
go, with departures from Stansted, Gatwick, Liverpool and Newcastle; for
somewhere to flop, visit www.hotels.com
or try a last-minute package through www.teletextholidays.co.uk
.
GOONDIWINDI PLUCKED DUCK BACHELOR AND SPINSTER BALL
Australia, September 30
Ibiza is riotous, but sophisticated with it. If just plain riotous is more
your thing, make for outback Queensland, for little Gundy’s B&S
Ball. About 3,000 Bruces and Sheilas, who’ve been penned up on remote farms
for the Aussie winter, descend on the cattle yards to dress up in black tie,
pop a few dozen tinnies and dance like deranged dingoes until 3am. Beaut.
It’s a little quieter at Sunday’s after-party, but only a little: things get
going at the showgrounds at 6am, then move to the Railway pub from 10am.
With some foresight, the place removes all its furniture, allowing the
flower
of Aussie youth to drink through their hangovers while sprawled
contemplatively on the carpet. Tickets cost about £25 in advance from www.thepluckedduck.org.au
. Travelbag (0870 814 6545, www.travelbag.co.uk
) has a 10-day fly-drive to Brisbane, four hours’ drive from Gundy, from
£1,259pp, in a two-berth camper van.
