A spa hotel with its own crèche? What an odd idea: as if it could ever be possible to slip into deep relaxation with half an ear out for the sound of a bored, mischievous or drowning child. Still, not the worst job in the world to try one out with my three-year-old daughter.

Calcot Manor isn’t just any old spa hotel. As well as having won several awards it has an Ofsted registered crèche, and a converted barn full of toys. Plus it is in Gloucestershire which, as we know from Jilly Cooper, means jolly sex.

As one of only a handful of spa hotels in the UK offering to look after your children for you while you have yourself wrapped in algae or float around the spa, Calcot promises “we don’t just accept children – we love having them here.” All very well; but will you?

What the hotel actually does, subtly but unmistakably (as the childless visitor will be pleased to know) is to separate child from adult as much as possible without actually sending them off for adoption. Family sleeping accommodation is in its own wing, kids are banned from the spa area (including pool) except for a slightly stingy hour and a half in late afternoon (and mornings at the weekend), children cannot eat at the posh Conservatory restaurant, and high tea is provided from 5.30 to 6.30pm in a corner of the Gumstool Inn to be well over by the time the grown-ups come down to eat.

That said, for the parent who cannot bear to leave little Rohan behind – or the lone parent who has no one else to look after him while she takes a swim – Calcot Manor does absolutely everything it can to help them relax. In his en suite bunk bedroom are a beanbag, flat-screen television and DVD player, together with a listening device so that reception staff can listen in on him while the parents eat in peace.

And in the Playzone, the Ofsted-registered crèche, open from 9am to 5.30pm seven days a week, younger children have everything they could want (apart from their parents) from sandpit to easel, “kitchen” to library, and Mickey Mouse children’s toilets. While for kids aged 8 and over on a mezzanine level there are X-boxes, PlayStations and a small cinema.

It’s a lot for the crèche staff to juggle, given the fluctuating numbers of differently aged children, but the staff are experienced, calm and kind. My daughter was happy enough for a couple of hours while I was in the spa, and she wanted to go back and play again the next day.

So much for the kids: for the parent, Calcot offers a spa with really excellent treatments. Although small, it is beautiful and peaceful, full of thoughtful touches such as jugs of chilled water with cucumber and watercress.

The trouble with taking children to hotels is that no matter how hard the hotel tries, you cannot quite get away from them. Which meant that I never got to find out, either, whether what Jilly says about Gloucestershire is true.

NEED TO KNOW

Ambience Staff are so friendly that it almost feels as if you are staying in a family home. It’s a former farmhouse with a 50ft pool, small gym and a lovely outdoor Jacuzzi.

Experience The spa looks small but treatment rooms are relaxingly large. I had a great therapist, who even knew where the seaweed in the Thalgo algae wrap came from (the North Sea). I also tried a hot stones massage, sceptical about some of the wilder claims I had seen made about it – it was gorgeous.

Food Posh food at the Conservatory and the gastropub has a huge variety from ham hock to seared scallop salad.

In-crowd Jolly Gloucestershire set. Young parents with pristine 4x4s and children in designer dishevelled gear. Called Rohan.

Wallet watch Family suites from £680 a weekend including breakfast and dinner in the Conservatory plus £25 a night children’s supplement to cover breakfast, high tea and unlimited use of the Playzone.

Need to know Near Tetbury, Gloucestershire (01666 890391; www.calcotmanor.co.uk)

MORE FAMILY SPAS

Time is money, darling. You have . . .

1 DAY AND £80

Spa at Butlins, Skegness

USP A good vcalue dollop of cut-price Zen.

Ambience Bright, airy, open-plan, with a large curvy pool.

Experience Three-hour slots, and 25-plus treatments from chocolate baths to mud and salt massages.

Food Snacks in the spa and all-you-can-eat buffets elsewhere.

In-crowd Holidaymakers taking a well-earned break from bingo.

Wallet watch Entrance is £20 per person; treatments are extra.

Need to know Butlins, Skegness, (01754 614450; www.butlins.com/spa).

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Center Parcs, Suffolk

USP Babysitters while you spa.

Ambience Smart spa set in a forest in pretty lakeside location.

Experience A whole “World of Spa” range of global treatments.

Food Juices, salads and soups in the spa’s Conservatory cafe.

In-crowd Mums on the run seeking precious “me time”.

Wallet watch Family weekends in two-bed chalet from £359; spa entry is extra from £27 a day.

Need to know Center Parcs, Elveden Forest (08706 009900; www.centerparcs.co.uk)

5 DAYS AND £1,000

Bedruthan Steps Hotel, Cornwall

USP Killer seaviews and a pioneering eco-spirit.

Ambience The Ocean Spa and hotel are a bit utilitarian but fun.

Experience Spa boss Victor offers superb Asian inspired massage.

Food Fresh, local produce.

In-crowd The car park brims with German-made 4x4s.

Wallet watch Price is for family of four including dinner. Treatments work out at about £1 a minute.

Need to know Ocean Spa, Mawgan Porth, Cornwall (01637 860555; www.bedruthan.com)

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