Brian Schofield
Pick up your copy of Joy Division: Closer at WHSmith today

R and R, not sweat and tears

Some gain, but little pain

Starting to work it baby

Fell the burn

At least you'll die thin

THE ORIGINAL

Bikini Boot Camp, Mexico It has a raft of celebrity acolytes, but is a million
miles from the kind of slick spa resort you might expect the A list to slim
in. The Yucatan beach-hut accommodation is almost wilfully scrappy, and the
flavour more hippie-commune chaos than serious-minded self-denial. But most
of the guests - predominantly New York and LA alpha females – love it here,
returning annually for a restorative week of jogs, hikes, yoga, juices and
sisterhood. Men are welcome, but here’s a thing – to assist breathing, group
yoga classes often employ only half the bikini . . .
Do it: seven days, full-board, including all treatments and classes,
cost £968pp, plus £409 if you’re travelling solo and don’t want to share a
room; call 00 52 998 185 7428 or visit www.amansala.com.
Return car transfers from Cancun are £125. Charter Flights (0845 045 0153, www.charterflights.co.uk)
has seven-day returns from the UK to Cancun from about £350 in January.
THE TOUGH NEW KID

Body and Soul Adventures, Brazil Launched this year in Paraty, not far from
Rio de Janeiro, this is a health camp that takes reducing your waist size
awfully seriously – and, be warned, that dedication has won it so many fans,
the place is booked solid until March 16.
If you can get a slot, you’ll do a lot of hiking in the tropical fjordland
around Paraty, then sea-kayaking, surfing and hours of yoga. Oh, and your
diet will be calorie-counted, caffeine-free and 100% natural. The idea is to
provide you with an intense “jump start” to redirect your lifestyle to
healthy choices – though expect most of your fellow guests to be trim
already.
Do it: seven days (strictly Sunday to Sunday) start at £1,200pp,
full-board, including all activities and transfers; call 020 3002 0936 or
visit www.bodyandsouladventures.com.
Trailfinders (0845 058 5858, www.trailfinders.com)
has fares from Heathrow to Rio from £628, with Iberia via Madrid.
THE FIGHTING-FIT IRISH

Body and Soul Experience, Ireland This one makes the most of the stunning
Donegal countryside to inspire and exhaust pound-shedding guests on weekend
or week-long “rejuvenation courses”. You’re limited to 1,200 calories a day,
and will be expected to tear into long hikes, mountain-bike rides and
afternoon yoga sessions. At least the bed you collapse into is comfortable –
the camp is hosted by Harvey’s Point, a country-house hotel on the shore of
Lough Eske that has just been named the Irish AA’s Hotel of the Year.
Do it: camps are held year-round, with prices starting at £679pp for
three nights, full-board, including all activities, or £1,394pp for six
nights; call 00 353 74 972 2208 or visit www.harveyspoint.com.
Fly to Sligo, an hour from Harvey’s Point, from Manchester with Aer Arran
(www.aerarran.com), or to Belfast, which is 2½ hours away, with FlyBe (0871
700 2000, www.flybe.com), Ryanair (0871
246 0000, www.ryanair.com) or Easyjet (www.easyjet.com).
THE WHITE HEAT

Waymark Experience, Norway Nordic skiing uses up the British Nutrition
Foundation’s estimate for the typical Christmas dinner – 1,400 calories – in
just two hours for an average-sized man, or three for a regular-sized woman,
and all that gain comes in beautiful winter scenery. Stretch yourself and
book a “confident beginner” trip with Exodus, the UK’s Nordic expert. The
base is Kvitavatn, in the Telemark region of Norway – renowned for the
quality of its instructors and the wildness of the country.
Do it: seven nights in February start at £729pp, including flights from
London, ski hire, full-board bunkhouse accommodation (or £125pp extra for an
ensuite twin), guiding and instruction. Call 0845 863 9600 or visit
www.exodus.co.uk.
THE RURAL ROUSER

FitFarms, Devon If you want to lose weight so badly that you’re willing to get
up at 6.15 every morning and subject yourself to a programme of dawn
workouts, power walks, life-coaching sessions and nutrition workshops until
past 7pm, every night for a week, this is the place. A women-only course, it
isn’t about strenuous effort for the already healthy, but about serious diet
and exercise for those who are struggling to reach a shape they’re happy
with. After a week here, you should head home informed and inspired for a
healthy year.
Do it: seven days, starting on January 18 or February 15, start at
£799pp, full-board (£1,099pp for a private room); call 0800 634 3070 or
visit www.fitfarms.co.uk.
THE CHILLOUT

Surf Berbere, Morocco There’s a reason surfers wear their shorts so low. They
have no waistline. For a week of excellent cardiovascular fitness,
muscle-toning and a fat-burning chill from the water, you can’t beat hitting
the waves. Choose Morocco and you’ll have the added benefit of spending your
evenings sipping virtuous peppermint tea, rather than the carb-loaded
devil’s drink, beer. Surf Berbere is a new, British-run camp in the
laid-back Atlantic town of Taghazout, with quiet waves and help for
beginners.
Do it:seven nights cost £400pp, full-board, including transfers,
equipment hire and instruction; visit www.surfberbere.com.
Charter Flight Centre (0845 045 0153, www.charterflights.co.uk)
has flights to Agadir from £99 in January.
THE STRESS-BUSTER

Holistic Holidays If your Christmas season included not only an excessive
calorie count, but a blazing family row, too many trips to the wine box and
a spontaneous flood of tears at the Waitrose checkout, this is worth
considering. Based in a spacious villa in the quiet interior of Lanzarote,
HoHo is an escape hatch for people whose lives, either physically or
psychologically, seem to have run off the leash. As well as a personal
training regime, aquarobics, healthy food and tons of top-quality yoga
instruction, it offers plenty of opportunity for quiet contemplation and
conversation.
Do it: prices start at £550 for a week, B&B, plus £355 for a
prebooked package of activities and treatments; call 020 8123 9250 or visit www.hoho.co.uk.
Cheap Flights (www.cheapflights.co.uk)
has charter fares to Lanzarote from many UK airports; from about £100.
THE BEAST

Boulder Outdoor Survival School This might just be the most arduous – and
consequently slimming – holiday experience you can pay for. A 14-day field
course in the badlands of southern Utah, it teaches the art and philosophy
of wilderness survival through genuine puddle-drinking, root-eating
hardship, with perhaps 15 miles of hiking a day, no modern gadgets allowed
and a period of solo survival to negotiate. Guests have been known to shed
two stone in one seriously tough fortnight. To get through this holiday, you
will have to kill a sheep. Really.
Do it: prices start at £842pp, including campfire and blanket; call 00
1 303 444 9779 or visit www.boss-inc.com.
Fly from Heathrow to Salt Lake City with Delta (www.delta.com)
via Atlanta; from £485.
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