My mother turned 53 this year and after a busy life, moving house nearly ten times in the past twenty years (my father is a diplomat), entertaining guests most days, and bringing up three children and two dogs, she is looking and feeling exhausted, physically and emotionally.

I would really like to invite her to a week-long spa stay in the UK, but am finding it hard to find something appropriate.

She would love a place with steam rooms and saunas and pools, where she can be pampered (a body massage a day, possibly an anti-ageing facial, maybe some meditation) as well as some form of "excercise and diet programme" to tone up a little.

It needs to be affordable (no more than £200 per night) because my mother is very frugal and would not feel relaxed and happy somewhere super pricey, but it needs to be in good taste, too, ideally in the calm of the countryside. Pia Stanchina, London

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Times Online Spas & Lifestyle Expert Caroline Sylger Jones responds:

So that your mother can truly relax, I would suggest that she goes somewhere dedicated to holistic wellbeing rather than a hotel with a spa, where she's likely to encounter children, day guests and business people who may make her stay more frenetic than it needs to be. The most affordable option would be one of the many family-run holistic retreats dotted over the UK, but if this is the first health break she's taken for quite some time, send her to an adults-only destination spa where she will be assured of a civilised environment.

Grayshott Spa in Surrey strikes the right balance between style and substance, and is easily reachable from London. It's a manor house with a modern extension set in 47 peaceful acres, with 700 acres of National Trust land on the doorstep. They take an unpretentious, holistic approach to health, and will be able to devise a programme specially to suit your mother's needs which includes fitness, massage and facials - they should also be able to provide one to one meditation, or your mother could attend one of the group sessions or yoga classes. Many of the therapists have been at Grayshott for years, which is an excellent sign, and they also offer beauty treatments with the lovely 'beyond organic' ila products. There is a decent indoor and outdoor pool, and an underwhelming but sufficient steam room, sauna and plunge pool area.

Guests tend to wander about in their bath robes most of the time, which most find a liberating rather than strange experience. Food is tasty and nutritious. Public areas, bedrooms and facilities are contemporary and comfortable, with touches I'm sure your mother will like - the sitting room in particular is a maroon and lavender-coloured oasis of calm, while the dining room features pretty stained-glass windows. For a room with character, stay in one of the eight rooms in the manor house. Your mum should look and feel less exhausted after a week here.

I'm sure if you're staying for a week you could get a deal that comes out at less than £200 a night, especially in this financial climate - the best thing is to speak directly to them. The minimum stay at Grayshott is two nights (from £395 per person in a Classic Double). A day at Grayshott starts from £95 per person.

Alternatively, Ragdale Hall in Leicestershire is more affordable and larger than Grayshott and has lots of repeat guests. While the Monart is a stylish, contemporary destination spa, although it is in Ireland.

If you wanted to enjoy somewhere truly exceptional together for a long weekend, my favourite hotel with a spa is Babington House, where the spa overlooks a walled garden.

For more ideas, see Body & Soul Escapes: Britain & Ireland by Caroline Sylger Jones, published by Footprint Books (see carolinesylgerjones.co.uk).

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