Parkschloesschen looks an unlikely place to experience the ancient Indian therapy of Ayurveda. It is dusted with snow and, at only a little over an hour’s flight from the UK, a whole lot closer than India.

The elegant Art-Deco building on the edge of a quiet German town is surrounded by vineyards. I’m tired, my skin looks ropey and I’m ready for 14 days of Panchakarma, a mellow detox therapy, which works by combining treatments, gentle exercise, enemas (or bastis), and a vegetarian diet, all devised according to your Ayurvedic dosha (or physical type).

An Ayurvedic doctor tells me that I’m a vata-pitta, which means that I’m energetic, active and not very relaxed. I’m allocated a green bedroom, to “earth me”, and the following morning I’m served my dose of ghee (or clarified butter), which, according to the Ayurveda therapists, will help to dislodge nasty fat-soluble toxins. By contrast, British doctors tend to fear that the stuff clogs your arteries. A few days later, I have a dose of castor oil to rid my body of other toxins, which is pretty disgusting — but nothing compared with the morning bastis I have afterwards.

Despite the enemas, I manage to enjoy myself, taking one-to-one yoga classes, lounging in a lemon-grass-scented sauna, reading on while lounging on soft wool blankets by the swimming pool. I take bike rides along the pretty River Mosel and try one of the spa’s mini-trampoline sessions, which leaves me grinning like a Cheshire cat.

My daily treat is an Ayurvedic massage, scrub or steam bath. During my first vishesh — a vigorous sesame oil massage given by two therapists — I hear an owl hoot in the surrounding forest. A hot water bottle soothes my feet, my tum, my back, and the massage progresses with perfect synchronicity.

My worst day is the tenth, when I develop a persistent headache, accompanied by extreme tiredness. The staff claim that this is a sign that the toxins are leaving my body.

By the time I leave, my energy levels have started to rise, my body feels lighter, my mind more lucid. A week afterwards, I am told that I look taller and my skin, even if I say so myself, looks absolutely bloody marvellous.

Quality of treatments Brilliant. They are mainly Ayurvedic but facials are also on offer.

Therapists Expert and trustworthy. Practitioners were European, rather than Indian, and not all of them spoke English, although there were English speakers as well.

Ambience The hotel is in an elegant European style with a piano in the foyer. The pool/spa area is slightly more oriental in atmosphere, and despite the relatively strict regimen it is not an austere clinic.

In-crowd The hotel caters only for people who specifically want Ayurvedic treatments. This includes a wide range of mainly German- speaking guests from stressed businessmen and women to ladies who usually lunch.

Food I’m served specially tailored Ayurvedic treats — from Asian red-lentil soup to an Indian pistachio dessert. There is a strict no-alcohol policy but the desserts are gorgeous, and taste accidentally healthy.

Wallet watch an all-inclusive taster day at £160 per person; to an all-inclusive 13 night Panchakarma from £3,060 per person, not including flights.

Do it again Yes — but only for a shorter “top-up”.

Need to know Parkschloesschen, Bad Wildstein, Traben-Trarbach, Germany, 00 49 0 6541 7050, www.parkschloesschen.de . Three flights daily from London Stansted to Frankfurt-Hahn with Ryan Air, www.ryanair.com

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