A 'To Do' lists turn a holiday into a job of work.

They prevent us from relaxing and actually enjoying ourselves, implying instead that if we don't tick off any number of must-sees and must-dos we are weaker beings, wasting our time on earth and most definitely having far less fun than everyone else.

Yet in reality, the majority of the destinations we are told to see and activities we are told to complete before we die are either, dangerous, dull, absurd or a combination of the three. You don’t need to feel spiritually inferior just because you haven’t gone to all the money and effort of getting to, say, Easter Island. Rampant consumer tourism isn’t a moral absolute. But it is bad for the environment.

This anti-list is an attempt to wrest the high ground back from all the other list-makers. It's a rallying cry for common sense and dignified indolence over hectic, wasteful and morally dubious over-activity and a fitting riposte to anyone trying to tell you that you haven't lived if you haven't done X number of ridiculous activities.

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VISIT FLORENCE

Admittedly this ornate Italian city worked hard to earn its reputation as the cradle and heart of the Renaissance, but that was also the time Florence was last interesting. The brightly decorated shell of the city remains, but any authentic talent has long since fled to be replaced by a certain type of too-wealthy American on sabbatical from squashing heads on the college football field or impatient to ‘do the Uffizi’ while storming round ‘Yurp’ in a frenzy of shopping, ‘culture’ and complaints about the prices of hotel rooms. It is, consequently, also just about the only place in Italy where you can buy bad coffee.

Times Online: last week we published Veronica Schmidt's treatise Why do people rave about Florence? - we had 74 comments, split right down the middle

CLIMB EVEREST

Mallory claimed he wanted to climb Everest because "it's there." The M4 is "there" too, but you can't collect sponsorship money for running across that - athough such an act demonstrates about the same level of common sense. More than 200 people have died attempting the ascent of Everest. Conditions are so difficult that most bodies are left where they fall. Frozen corpses line the major routes up – alongside all manner of medical waste - as ghoulish reminders to other climbers of just how foolish they are. Sold as the pinnacle of adventure tourism, the mountain has actually become the world's highest junkyard.

GO TO WATCH A FORMULA 1 RACE IN MONACO

The disgusting smell of petrol will hang in the air. You won't be able to make out what’s happening on the track. Your ears will hurt. A man in a Ferrari fleece will force you to engage in a conversation about gearboxes. Then you'll lose all your money in the casino. A fitting punishment for taking part in an activity that Jeremy Clarkson approves of.

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