As boasts go, it’s hardly up there with “I can turn that water into wine” or
“This time next year, Rodney, we’ll be millionaires”. Even so, Aviator’s
claim to be the “UK’s sexiest airport hotel” sounds exciting, purely
because, in the UK, nobody has used the word “sexy” in the same sentence as
“airport hotel” before.
Aviator is a brand-new hotel concept from the people behind the Malmaison and
Dakota chains. It’s sleek, sophisticated and, yes, pretty sexy. And it’s
just a few minutes from the terminal.
Sounds great, doesn’t it? And it is. There’s just one snag - that terminal
isn’t at Heathrow or Gatwick. It’s not at Stansted, Manchester or even
London City. It’s at TAG Farnborough, which styles itself Europe’s premium
business-only airport, is full of private jets and sits a minute or two
outside the town of Farnborough, in Hampshire.
What, you may well ask, is the point of that, then? I’ll get to that in a
minute - but first, let’s get back to the sexy.
The building is designed to look like a plane’s propeller, which makes it
long, slim and gently undulating, like a silk scarf in a light breeze.
Depending on your orientation, it looks like an office block done by Gaudi’s
grandson or a very large sex aid. You choose.
Once inside, you walk up to the first-floor reception and your eyes continue
up the central atrium as the floors spiral away above you in an enormous
cappuccino-froth swirl. It’s rather impressive. And sexy.
There are 150 rooms spread over three floors, with 19 suites on the fourth
(top) floor. All the rooms are nicely kitted out, with Bose sound systems,
flatscreen TVs, large, firm beds and, in my room at least, a ridiculously
complicated shower that needs its own Nasa engineer to work it. As my
girlfriend was establishing which button did what, a torrent of (cold) water
fell from above, drenching her hair, which, apparently, had already been
washed and styled and whatnot. How we (I) laughed.
Elsewhere, there are two bars - one for the exclusive use of the big cheeses
in the suites - that serve a sharp cocktail. There’s a brasserie where you
can find decent starters from £5 (the smoked ham and duck-liver terrine with
pear chutney was superb) and mains from £10.50.
They also do a bitter chocolate tart with pistachio ice cream that is the sort
of pud you would happily smear over someone you love. You can buy a slice to
take home for £3 in the sandwich bar/deli tucked away by the entrance, which
also sells enormous tins of Ortiz bonito and yellowfin tuna, as well as
great big bottles of fizz ... because this is a hotel for people who arrive
in private jets, and they like that sort of thing. So, too - hopes Aviator -
will the locals. In fact, its business model depends on it, relying on a
steady trade of weekend patronage by the good people of Farnborough and its
environs as much as it does on the business community. (IBM and Nokia have
bases in the vicinity, and those landing at Farnborough in the private jets
are usually wearing suits.)
To be fair, there’s not a lot else around these parts, and an entirely
unscientific survey of the cab drivers waiting at the station found that
local interest in the hotel was high. Indeed, two of them had already booked
tables at the restaurant.
And so we come to the crux of the matter. Yes, Aviator is stylish, and
wouldn’t look out of place in London. But it’s not in London. So, will
anybody stay there? If you’re a visiting dignitary or CEO, landing at
Farnborough airport in your private jet, wouldn’t you have a Mercedes
waiting to whisk you the 40-odd miles into the West End and your suite at
Claridge’s? “Yes,” says Ken McCulloch, CEO of McCulloch Unique Hotels, which
runs Aviator, “but now you don’t have to.”
One thing in Aviator’s favour is the fact that the super-rich are notoriously
tight. A car sent from Claridge’s to do the whisking costs £97, and its
cheapest suite is £970. Plus Vat. And a 5% service charge. The best suite at
Aviator costs £295, and a cab from the airfield is less than a fiver. That’s
quite a saving. And CEOs - even those in private jets - love to save. +
Doubles from £195; 0870 220 8000,
www.aviatorfarnborough.co.uk
