Free the Dubai 24

The row rumbles on over the 24 dolphins at Dubai’s Atlantis hotel. Environmentalists claim they were taken from the wild and flown in to entertain tourists, but the hotel has mounted an interesting defence: “They came from an existing facility called the Solomon Islands Marine Mammal Education Centre,” it says. Makes it sound as if they were already captive, doesn’t it? Fact: the “Education Centre” is a private business that has a track record of organising the export of captured wild dolphins. Fun hotel, guys, but we’re not going back until you let ’em go.

Tristan, pretend you’re a tree

Still doubt that camp sites are the trendiest holiday around? Chew on this: the tour operator Canvas (0870 192 1159) is offering toddler yoga at its sites in France. When they’re not busy with the water slides and mini-golf, tots as young as two will be working on their tiger and cobra positions. “We’re expecting lots more middle-class campers next year,” the company says. All together now kids: “Ommmm ...”

I only wanted a Crunchie, officer

What on earth is going on at Travelodge? A new survey conducted by the chain found that an astonishing 8% of guests sleepwalk every night, and nearly 25% do it every week. Weird... but read further and it gets scary: 98% of the sleepwalkers are nude men, and the most popular wandering zone is reception at 3.27am. A staffer in Liverpool recently found one naked chap making love to a vending machine. “We are running refresher training on how to handle such an incident,” Travelodge says.

A high-brow establishment

This is just so Vegas: an eyebrow bar with its own helipad. Okay, the town’s big new pampering palace Eleven (www.elevenlv.com), which opens next month, will also have a hair salon, spa treatment rooms, make-up stations and a pool, but it’s the brows they’re big on. Mind you, the couples room sounds intriguing: it’s called Bungalow 69 and comes with its own glass bathtub. “Yes, it’s very naughty,” they tell us, before rapidly back-pedalling – “But not that naughty. We wouldn’t want anything too rude going on in there.” Of course not. Can’t keep the chopper waiting.

Orange order

We like EasyHotels – they’re just so cheap – but the colour? Ugh. Well, we have news. First, bad: their Heathrow hotel, opening on January 1 (doubles from £25, www.easyhotel.com), is as vivid as ever. Second, good: the first on the Med, in Larnaca next summer, will be virtually orange-free. How did they get that past Stelios? “Customer feedback,” the company says – ie, everyone else hates it as much as we do.

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