A light supper, a good night’s sleep and a fine morning have often made a hero
of the same man, who, by an indigestion, a restless night and a rainy
morning would have proved a coward,” said Lord Chesterfield.
Easy for him to say, sprawled on a flat bed in First and nibbling stilton
while trolley dollies pour his port. For us chickens cooped up in the cheap
seats, sleep - in an airless space 17in wide by 32in deep by 42in high (if
you’re no good with figures, consider that a Zanussi fridge comes in a
larger carton and usually arrives more chilled) - remains a ludicrously
abstract concept.
If you’re in an aisle seat, you’ll be dealt glancing blows by runaway trolleys
and frequently woken by an incontinent neighbour. Choose a window seat and
your own bladder will let you down. Choose a centre seat and you’re probably
too stupid to be let out on your own.
And yet, amid the crowding and the chaos, there’s always that serene passenger
who dines without dribbling vinaigrette down his shirt, arranges his
personal space with the precision of a Zen master, and then, as the cabin
darkens, lit only by the campfire flicker of 300 tiny TVs, tips back his
seat, taps on heaven’s door and is granted immediate oblivion. That man is
John Stallcup.
Stallcup says he’s cracked the secret of cloudbound slumber. He’s co-written a
book about it, based on observations and experience gained from flying more
than 2m air miles, and he’s called it How to Sleep on Airplanes. I woke him
at home in Napa, California, to ask his advice.
“Well begun is half done,” he yawns, quoting Aristotle, and it seems that the
process of achieving a good flight’s sleep begins before you leave home.
Virgin, Cathay and most US airlines have followed BA’s lead to offer online
check-in, so by clicking between your carrier’s website and the cabin-layout
diagrams at www.seatguru.com, you can select the seat of your choice up to
three weeks before departure. Printing out your boarding pass at home
reduces stress levels further.
Flying is no fashion show, Stallcup observes, so wear comfortable,
loose-fitting, layered clothing. Carry-on supplies are vital, too: bottled
water is a must, but remember that what you eat and drink will directly
affect your ability to sleep on the aircraft. Stallcup advises against the
following:
Alcohol — cabin pressure doubles the effect of booze. This sounds good, but it
also dehydrates, fragments your sleep pattern and interferes with oxygen
metabolism. Sorry.
Coffee and tea — both contain caffeine and are diuretics.
Gum — it gives you wind. The extra saliva production also increases secretion
of stomach acids that will keep you awake like a glassy-eyed, masticating
sheep.
Fizzy drinks — they fill the gut with gas, with obvious results. Colas also
contain caffeine, so it’s possible that you’ll be wide awake, burping,
bursting for a pee and wishing there was a dog to blame. All at once.
Mints — high doses of peppermint relax the lower oesophageal sphincter, the
muscle that protects the throat from stomach-acid reflux.
Gas-producing food — for social reasons, avoid baked beans, cabbage,
cauliflower, broccoli, wheat, oats and potatoes. So it’s the rice option.
Without the curry.
So what can we eat? Diana Fairechild, author of the anti-jet-lag manual Jet
Smart, advises avoiding the in-flight meal altogether and bedding down as
soon as you’re airborne. “Airline meals are just pie in the sky,” she says,
recommending you use the drowsiness brought on by the combination of
G-forces and oxygen starvation at takeoff to grab some shuteye.
Stallcup believes in eating foods with concentrations of sleep-friendly
compounds. “Dates contain a large amount of an amino acid called tryptophan,
which exerts a calming effect,” he says. “Otherwise go for cottage cheese,
turkey or fish, all of which have a healthy dose of tryptophan.”
Nutritionists disagree, pointing out that you’d need to eat a whole turkey
stuffed with cottage cheese on a bed of fish à la dates to derive any
narcotic effect. Rebecca Foster of the British Nutrition Foundation says:
“Ultimately, what’s important is eating in moderation. On an aircraft, you
need just enough calories to be comfortable.” You should also eat foods your
brain associates with sleep. So, if you enjoy a packet of Hobnobs or a Gala
pie before bedtime, bring one on board, but remember that many countries are
strict about the importation of foodstuffs, so you’ll have to eat the lot
before landing.
GOT THE right seat, wearing the right clothes, eaten the right snack and still
not sparko? You could try one of the “natural” sleep aids on the market.
Many frequent flyers recommend melatonin, a secretion of the pineal gland
that controls our circadian rhythm. Numerous studies have agreed that
melatonin supplements are useful in promoting healthy sleep and treating jet
lag, but there’s a catch: due to uncertainties over side effects, it’s not
on sale in the UK. The same goes for kava kava, a startlingly effective
South Seas shrub available in overseas pharmacies.
However, you can buy valerian, the narcotic extract of the root of the garden
heliotrope. It’s available from health shops in non-prescription
tranquillisers, such as Kalms. Scientists are ambivalent about its efficacy,
but seasoned travellers swear by it.
Exotic plants aren’t the only way to a state of sleep-inducing calm. Stallcup
recommends several relaxation techniques. On a recent flight to Hong Kong, I
tried his steel-band method. The principle is to imagine yourself surrounded
by a band of steel (rather than a calypso combo). It lies on the cabin floor
around your feet, exerting a relaxing effect on any body parts within its
circumference. When you can’t feel your feet, raise the band, focusing on
your ankles, then shift to your calves, and so on. I was distracted by
Angelina Jolie, but for those capable of sustained concentration, this
method is foolproof.
However, there’s no point going to all this trouble getting to sleep if you
can’t stay there, and for that you need equipment. Few of us fly frequently
enough to justify the cost of noise-cancelling headphones, but cutting out
the racket is crucial. The average person is unable to sleep with 45dB of
noise, and sound levels in aircraft cabins average 75dB, so use those
earplugs. Wear the eyeshades too, and complete the ensemble with a
good-quality neck pillow, making sure your safety belt is fastened outside
the blanket so the cabin crew don’t need to wake you.
But is all this effort really necessary? I asked medical writer, broadcaster
and traveller Dr Mike Smith for a doctor’s advice. “The best way to sleep on
aeroplanes is to ask your GP to prescribe one of the short-acting sleeping
tablets,” he said. “Imovane is good, as is temazepan.”
Of course, prescription of potentially addictive medication is subject to the
judgment of your GP, but it’s got to be better than my colleague’s
recommendation of watching Vin Diesel. Nighty night.
How to Sleep on Airplanes by John and Evan Stallcup is available from www.sleeptravel.com
for £7.70, including p&p
Your kip kit
Sennheiser PXC250 noise-cancelling headphones Apart from the
cumbersome battery pack (5 AA batteries), as good as headphones at twice the
price; £79.50, www.audiovisualonline.co.uk.
The Travel Neck Pillow Its NASA-developed memory-foam filling
softens in warmer areas where the body makes the most contact with the
surface and remains firmer in cooler areas; £22.99, www.sleepimpressions.co.uk.
Serpent: Music for Efficient Sleep By the Shanghai Chinese
Traditional Orchestra; £11.99, www.amazon.co.uk.
KIP TIP
‘Whisky, valerian and anything starring Vin Diesel’ Matt Rudd,
deputy Travel editor
‘Use those earplugs, and Sodashi Jet Lag Recovery’ Susan
d’Arcy, luxury-travel writer
‘Painkillers and wine, but that’s probably bad advice’ Brian
Schofield, assistant Travel editor
