More celebrity travels on our My Hols special

When I was growing up, Asian people didn’t take holidays. My parents came to Birmingham from Pakistan in the 1960s and my father used to say: “We didn’t come to this country to go on holiday, we came here to work.”

I’m one of five kids, though, and we badly wanted to go on holiday because that’s what all our English friends did, so eventually my parents gave in and took us to a caravan site at Cardigan Bay, in Wales.

We arrived in the evening and hardly slept a wink because we were so excited. The next morning, we looked out of the window to see the woman from the caravan next door cooking her breakfast on the barbecue, completely naked; my father had unwittingly booked us in at a nudist caravan site.

My hols: Michael Caine

The actor has been a bum in Paris, a callow youth in Cannes and a superstar in St Paul de Vence. Not a lot of people know that

My Hols: Anastacia

The American pop star Anastacia recently threw a lavish wedding party in Mexico - but didn’t break the bank

• Frequent flyer: Erin O'Connor

BACKGROUND

• My hols: Phil Daniels

• My hols: Roger Moore

• My hols: David Mitchell

• My hols: Tracey Emin

• My hols: Colin Firth

BACKGROUND

• My hols: Ricky Gervais

• My hols: Sam Robards

• My hols: Jimmy Carr

• My hols: Johnny Vegas

• My hols: Moby

Related Links

• My hols: Immodesty Blaize

My brothers and sisters and I screamed our heads off: we’d never seen anything so funny. Needless to say, our parents didn’t find it quite so amusing. “So this is what British people do on holiday,” my dad bristled. “They just take their clothes off and run around naked.”

We had to spend the first day of the holiday in the caravan and we couldn’t even look out of the window, but we were allowed out the next day — with all our clothes on, of course. We had great fun taking photographs of all the naked people with our cheap plastic cameras, which our parents promptly confiscated. We ended up staying for just three days instead of six, which was really disappointing. My dad was adamant that he’d never take us on holiday again, but we loved the beach so much that we did go to Brighton a few years later.

When I was 19, I went to Pakistan for the first time, with my father. We visited Lahore, Karachi and Islamabad, and what really struck me was how modern they were. I thought men and women wouldn’t be allowed to mix, but I got talking to a sailor in the lobby of our hotel in Lahore, who asked me out on a date.

My dad would have gone mental, so I waited until he was asleep, then nipped down to the hotel bar. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a huge success, because I was practically wetting myself, convinced my dad was going to burst out of the lift yelling: “What do you think you’re doing, having a date with a man?”

I went back to Lahore with some English friends last November. It’s the cultural centre of Pakistan and has a large artistic community, so it’s quite liberal. Old Lahore is surrounded by the old city wall, with narrow alleyways and crumbling buildings. It’s like going back to the 15th century; and, although it’s crowded and noisy, it’s very beautiful. The streets are lined with people selling things they’ve made, such as baskets, sandals and jewellery. The attention to detail is amazing.

When my friends, some of whom have been known to spend £500 on Christian Louboutins, see my shoes from Lahore, they squeal: “I’m never going to Harvey Nicks again!” And the best place to buy food in Pakistan is on the street — it’s all freshly cooked and delicious.

After one particularly stressful Edinburgh Festival, I was in dire need of a rest, so the day after it finished, I flew out to Bali. I stayed at the Bali Hyatt, which is on the beach, and because it’s so incredibly romantic, it was full of honeymooning couples. But the Balinese are extremely hospitable, and, as I was on my own, they looked after me.

I was taken to a tea plantation and had an elephant ride around the forest. Bali also has wonderful spas — I found one in an old wooden house where I had a rose-petal bath followed by the most amazing massage, while another woman rubbed avocado onto my hair. Not only was it heavenly, it was also incredibly cheap, so I could afford to go every day. The only low point was dinner — because they were used to catering for couples, I had to sit at this little table facing a blank wall. It felt a bit like being in prison.

When I’m travelling for work, I’m always worrying about the show that evening, so when I go on holiday, I really appreciate the rest. It also gives me a chance to sit back and observe life. That’s what being a comedian is all about.

Shazia Mirza talked to Hilary Whitney

Times recommends

• Britain's top 10 New Year's Day brunches
• Mozambique's lost islands
• The best things to see and do in 2010