One of the disadvantages of being in a successful touring band is that you only see the world through hotel, limo and airplane ­windows. Which is why real vacations are so important. But this year we’re playing somewhere I’m really excited about: Athens. I’m half Greek, and every summer my mom would send me and my sister to stay with relatives there. It was like our summer camp: sleeping on the roof, seeing the stars and waking up to the smell of fresh bread floating up from the baker’s down the street. That was my job, to get up and buy the loaves.

At the same time, it was a little bit Third World. Local kids ran barefoot, and one summer we had this pet rabbit, without realising why my relatives were keeping it. It was a real shock when my uncle reached into the cage and karate-chopped our bunny. Bam! My sister and I cried, ran away and hid, and didn’t come out till dinnertime. Mistake: that was when the adults were tucking into our bunny. But I’ve got over it, and when we play Athens this summer, all the relatives will be there, so they can finally see what it is I do.

When it comes to real vacations, my favourite place has to be Bora Bora. I’ve been there about half a dozen times. It really is just paradise. Beautiful white beaches, the blue lagoon where they shot that Brooke Shields movie, and rooms built on stilts over the sea, so you can just wake up and dive in. There’s a restaurant on the sand with all these names on the wall —Mick Jagger, Rod Stewart — and you think, wow! It says Tommy Lee up there now. I tell you, I cry like a baby every time I have to leave. If I ever go missing, they should start by searching Bora Bora.

I like that whole Polynesian vibe. It’s a beautiful part of the world, but it’s always the people who really make a place special. I’ve been to Fiji a few times: I was on Turtle Island, and Eddie Van Halen was staying too and he wanted me to try this local hooch. It’s called cava and they make it by soaking the roots of a plant and then grinding it up. So Van Halen gives me some and I’m like, dude, what is this? Man, it tastes like s***. But, you know, you press on and it turns out you get really wrecked really quickly.

Another great escape is Cabo San Lucas in Mexico. It’s two hours by plane from LA, and one time I went marlin fishing there. It’s really exciting — a marlin reacts to getting a hook in its mouth just like you would. It gets real pissed off. So it’s a battle. I got my catch sent to the taxidermist and delivered back home. But I was married at the time and the wife went: “There’s no way that ugly fish is going on the wall.” So it sat in the garage till I gave it away.

I sometimes add to my tattoos when I travel, and when we were in Japan, we kept going on about getting authentic Japanese yakuza ones. So, one day, we were taken off to this place where everyone seemed to be missing their pinkie. We had to lie on a mat on the floor and they put this topical anaesthetic on our arms. Then they pricked the skin using a bamboo stick. The human touch meant it was far more delicate than using a gun.

So, we’re lying there and this bald guy comes in, looks at us and whips out his dick. It’s got all these bumps along it. He’s had two rows of real pearls sewn under the skin, one along the bottom, one along the top. Apparently, it helps to increase the woman’s pleasure. It’s like some crazy sex toy. And I said: “Hey, we didn’t sign up for that, did we?” Turned out we were just down for the tats, which was cool.

I take my two boys to Hawaii for an annual holiday. It’s a family ritual and Dylan, the younger, is a big surfer, he surfs every day after school, so he digs the islands. I have always been careful not to spoil them, but it’s difficult living the kind of life I do. So, for instance, we normally fly over to Hawaii on private jets. One year, for some reason, we took a commercial flight. My older son gets on the plane, looks around and says: “Dad, what are all these other people doing on here?” He didn’t ask where all the hot stewardesses were, but I’m sure he was thinking it. Sometimes you realise they have no idea how lucky they are. Fortunately, I do.

Tommy Lee talked to Rob Ryan

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