Would you spend the better part of £8,500 on a hotel? We don’t mean to buy it,
lock, stock and two smoking barmen. Oh, no: that’s just for a one-night
stay. That is the price of the top villa at The Mansion in Las Vegas, where
even the cheapest suite costs a cool £2,810. Forbes, the in-house magazine
of America’s super-rich, puts The Mansion at the top of its list of the
world’s most expensive hotels in the world, based on standard high-season
room rates. So, what do you get for your money? Are you and your credit card
sitting comfortably? Then I’ll tell you.
All packages include flights from London. Ask the operator for regional options
1 THE MANSION AT MGM GRAND, Las Vegas
The cost? £2,810 per night, rising to £8,430 for a four-bedroom
villa — and rates are room-only, so you don’t even get breakfast for
that.
Who goes there? Hollywood royalty such as Bruce Willis and Oprah
Winfrey.
What’s so great about it? It’s Medici meets
mammon, with knobs on. The owners scoured Tuscany for their favourite villa, commissioned
a legion of Italy’s finest craftsmen to re-create the 18th-century
Florentine mansion brick by delicately distressed brick, then shipped the
whole thing back to Sin City. As a result, everything in The Mansion is
authentically handmade — from the intricate bronze and crystal reception
doors to the stunning stained-glass windows. The vast, manicured Italianate
gardens are temperature-controlled at 22C and, inside, 800 priceless
artworks by the likes of Picasso, Matisse and Hockney hang on the walls.
There was a budget of £500,000 just for the rugs in the public areas. And
so to the 29 suites. It’s no surprise to discover that you get a
butler, a grand piano, a gym, a pool, a private garden and —
weight-watchers look away now — two chefs on call 24/7. The hotel
prides itself on offering “anticipatory service”. Presumably,
the army of staff have the smelling salts ready before presenting the final
bill.
Book it: until recently, rooms were available by invitation only.
The good news is that anyone can now book. The bad news is that, although
serious gamblers are often given complimentary accommodation, the hotel
never discounts for hoi polloi. Call 00 1 877 225 2121 (no website — they
don’t want paupers peeking through a cyber-window).
2 NORTH ISLAND, Seychelles
The cost? £1,752 per night, rising to £3,191 for
Villa North (three bedrooms, tucked away in a forest, with spectacular beach
views). At least this price is all-inclusive, except for premium champagne
and cocktails ... bet you can manage without them.
Who goes there? Pierce Brosnan, Ben Kingsley and Sarah Michelle
Gellar, when they need to get back to basics.
What’s so great about it? It’s the ultimate haute Robinson
Crusoe hideaway: a handful of thatched villas, constructed by local artisans
without recourse to a single nail, incorporating driftwood and reclaimed
tree trunks as wall supports and table legs. Air conditioning? Pah. Rooms
are raised one metre from the ground to catch the cooling sea breezes. Curtains?
Behave. Think strings of carefully threaded shells and corals instead, all
adding up to an unbelievable attention to detail. If you can tear yourself
away from your huge and gorgeous cocoon, each comes with keys to a buggy, so
you can scout the best locations for watching the sunset. You can sunbathe
on the four powder-fine beaches, dive the pristine reefs with guides or just
chill in your private pool — all the while considering important
questions such as what to have for dinner. It’s all fresh food, in season
(not flown in, as with so many Indian Ocean resorts) and the chef operates a “no-menu”
concept, tailoring dishes to guests’ every whim. One large portion of
paradise, please, with a side order of smugness.
Book it: call 00 248 293100 or visit www.north-island.com. ITC
Classics (01244 355527, www.itcclassics.co.uk) has six nights from £6,159pp,
full-board.
3 FREGATE ISLAND, Seychelles
The cost? £1,550 per night, full-board.
Who goes there? Brad and Jen (before the split, obviously), Paul
McCartney and Heather Mills, Claudia Schiffer.
What’s so great about it? It’s a five-star Swiss
Family Robinson fantasy. Unusually in an ultra-luxury resort, children aren’t
shipwrecked here — they have their own Castaway Kids Club. Grown-ups
can hike into 500 acres of rainforest with first-class ecologists or chill
on spectacular beaches, and for those who prefer a pampering paradise, there
is the amazing hilltop Rock Spa. But the real reason celebs love Frégate
is the privacy. Even when all 16 villas are booked, it’s a novelty to
see a fellow guest, especially as many dine on their balconies. The decor is
classical Indonesian with teak-lined marble floors, delicate antiques and
heavy Thai silks. And you have not one but four bathrooms.
Book it: call 00 49 6102 501321 or visit www.fregate.com. Seychelles
Travel (01202 877330, www.seychelles-travel.co.uk) has seven nights from £6,033pp,
full-board.
4 SINGITA, Kruger National Park, South Africa
The cost? £1,176 per night, all-inclusive, except
champagne.
Who goes there? Tiger Woods, Queen Noor of Jordan.
What’s so great about it? Luxury safari lodges tend to be
traditional and rigidly structured. It’s drinks at seven, dinner at
eight, and up for the game drive at 5.30am sharp, old boy. Singita is
different. It is the Armani of the outback, stylishly deconstructing the
safari experience, so you get to see nature while being exquisitely nurtured
(eat when you want, start spotting at 7am if you wish). Mind you, the camp
can afford to be flexible, given that it occupies 45,000 prime acres in a
park so brimming with the Big Five, you’d have to wear a blindfold to
miss them. You can help yourself to drinks, snacks and chocolate bars from
the glass-fronted fridge in the funky bar. Rooms are either in the
minimalist Lebombo (sleek steel-and glass-fronted suites with Philippe
Starck furniture and fittings) or the riverside Sweni (magnificent, macho
dark-timber numbers on stilts). You should definitely spend one night
sleeping in an outdoor star bed, suspended above the wide-mouthed hippos.
Book it: call 00 27 21 424 1037 or visit www.singita.com. Carrier
(01625 547010, www.carrier.co.uk) has seven nights from £4,965pp, all-inclusive.
5 LE TOINY, St Barthélemy, Caribbean
The cost? £1,163 per night, rising to £1,773 for
three bedrooms. The price, very generously, includes breakfast.
Who goes there? The likes of Halle Berry and Steve Martin.
What’s so great about it? Rather shockingly, the fifth most
expensive hotel in the world doesn’t even merit as many stars. Le
Toiny is merely four-star luxe. Detractors raise an eyebrow even at that
rating, while fans claim it is the apogee of shabby chic and effortless
elegance. Whatever, it is a drive from the nearest swimmable beach and,
although the sea is an exquisite turquoise, your view also overlooks the
local football pitch. So, Le Toiny must try extra-specially hard to justify
those sky-high rates, then? Not exactly. Still, who cares when this property’s
particular brand of Gallic insouciance creates the kind of uninhibited
ambience where Brad Pitt decides to bare all? Yes, this is the place where
the actor felt so comfortable, the paparazzi were able to snap him in the
nude. Rooms are plantation-style, a tad on the small side and nothing to
write home about, although the restaurant, a fusion of French and creole, is
a definite winner.
Book it: call 00 590 590 297750 or visit www.hotelletoiny.com.
Caribtours (020 7751 0660, www.caribtours.co.uk) has seven nights from £2,916pp,
B&B.
6 WAKAYA CLUB, Fiji
The cost? £1,162 per night, rising to £4,267 for
the three-bedroom Vale O, set in its own 16-acre plot. Prices are
all-inclusive, and you must book at least five nights.
Who goes there? Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, Michelle Pfeiffer.
What’s so great about it? It’s the blueprint for barefoot
luxury — the French pedicured version, that is. Most of the nine bures
(Fijian cottages) don’t have phones or televisions, just a selection
of books by the bedside. There are no tricksy USPs such as pillow menus or
bath concierges, just decent linen and an outdoor lava-rock shower, and the
most dressed up you’ll get is wrapping round a sarong for dinner. The
place runs seamlessly because the staff-to-guest ratio is an astonishing
12:1 — each guest is even assigned a personal trainer, for any-time
workouts, tennis and the odd round of golf. You can fish, or dive, or lie on
the impossibly white sand and count how many shades of blue there are in the
sea beyond. The only definable sense of structure comes with the beating of
the lali drum to announce dinner under the 60ft soaring roof of the Palm
Grove pavilion. When you leave, you cry, said Céline Dion, who
honeymooned here in 1994.
Book it: call 0800 968986 or visit www.wakaya.com. Audley (01869
276240, www.audleytravel.com) has seven nights from £4,750pp, all-inclusive.
7 TURTLE ISLAND, Fiji
The cost? £1,109 per night, rising to £1,342 for
the premium cottage, Vonu Point. Prices are all-inclusive.
Who goes there? Tom Cruise (in his Penelope Cruz days), Britney
Spears and Kevin Federline.
What’s so great about it? Its unbeatable location. The setting
for both the Blue Lagoon movies, Turtle Island is every ad director’s dream
of a palm-fringed island. It runs like an upmarket American holiday camp,
with a 100% preppy house-party atmosphere. The owner, the eccentric American
millionaire Richard Evanson, presides over communal dining most evenings
(waiters co-ordinate the unveiling of every course with a cry of “Bula!”,
and arriving and departing guests make after-dinner speeches that can easily
run to 10 minutes of tear-jerking eulogy, and even lapse into poetry). Bure
buddies organise group events, from baseball to the weekly fashion show,
where unsuspecting guests are “spontaneously” pulled onto the makeshift
catwalk to strut their stuff. And to ensure lasting memories, one of the 150
staff is a dedicated cameraman who videos you several times a day and makes
up a DVD as a permanent record of your trip. Rooms are spacious and simply
furnished in rattan, though the four-posters are constantly strewn with
flower petals. All have balconies on which banjo-wielding staff serenade you
at sunset to announce that pre-dinner cocktails are about to be shaken. It’s
definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, as the resort itself
acknowledges. You need to be highly sociable — not to mention pretty
good at the conga — to appreciate its charms.
Book it: call 0800 028 5938 or visit www.turtlefiji.com. Abercrombie
& Kent (0845 070 0615, www.abercrombiekent.co.uk) has seven nights,
all-inclusive, from £5,269pp.
8 HUKA LODGE North Island, New Zealand
The cost? £899 per night, rising to £3,450 for a
suite in the Owner’s Cottage. Prices are half-board and include
pre-dinner cocktails.
Who goes there? The Queen and Prince Philip, Dick Cheney, Michael
Douglas.
What’s so great about it? It’s a time capsule of baronial
Scottish splendour circa 1880 — minus the midges. Huka is the ultimate
huntin’, shootin’ and fishin’ lodge, set in 17 acres of
spectacular Kiwi country. Sink into a tartan-covered Chesterfield in front
of a fireplace as big as a London flat, nod to the mounted stag heads and
sip tea from bone-china cups. It’s all musty tweeds, trusty steeds,
shiny silver candelabra and even shinier silver service. The 20 suites are
in semidetached log cabins, a stone’s throw from the banks of the
Waikato River (the Queen Mother is said to have fished from her bedroom
window), and provide a welcome foil to the lavishness of the public areas.
They have a more modern, neutral decor and luxurious bathrooms. If you can
afford it, splash out on a suite in the Owner’s Cottage. Down a secret
path, virtually hidden from the rest of the estate, they have their own
lounge and dining room, with wonderful views of the mighty Huka Falls, as
well as the most amazing cantilevered infinity pool.
Book it: call 00 64 7 378 5791 or visit www.hukalodge.com. Turquoise
Holidays (0870 443 4177, www.turquoiseholidays.co.uk) has seven nights from £2,870pp.
9 BURJ AL ARAB, Dubai
The cost? £895 per night, rising to £3,820 for a
Royal suite. Prices are room-only; breakfast starts at £25.
Who goes there? David Beckham and other assorted footballers and
their wives, but also political big hitters such as Bill Clinton and Nelson
Mandela.
What’s so great about it? It is the world’s
undisputed capital of bling, out Versace-ing Donatella to the power of 10.
Designed to represent the billowing sail of an Arabian dhow, it stands
spectacularly on its own promontory in the Gulf, and you have to admire the
fact that the hotel (which modestly admits to being worthy of seven stars)
has quickly established itself as the emblem for an entire country. Love it
or hate it, you will be gripped by its sheer ridiculousness from the moment
your white Roller pulls up outside. Gold covers practically every surface;
elsewhere, paintwork is a tumble-dryer whirl of the most lurid reds, greens
and blues. Take a three-minute journey in a submarine to the underwater
restaurant or leave your lunch behind and zoom to the rooftop helipad, 700ft
above the beach. A white-gloved Jeeves presides over your suite (so huge, it
is arranged over two floors, connected by a marble spiral staircase) and you don’t
even have to raise yourself to let him in. State-of-the-art technology means
you can control everything, from opening the door to turning on the 42in
plasma TV (framed with 6in of gold, of course), with your remote. Oh, and
the £200 worth of Hermès bathroom goodies are yours for the
taking.
Book it: call on 0800 082 8000 or visit www.burj-al-arab.com.
Expressions Holidays (020 7433 2636, www.expressionsholidays.co.uk) has seven
nights, B&B, from £2,460pp.
10 LITTLE PALM ISLAND Florida Keys, USA
The cost? £813 per night, rising to £1,000 for an
Island Grand suite. The price is room-only, and a cappuccino costs £4.50.
Who goes there? Sandra Bullock, John Kerry, Cameron Diaz.
What’s so great about it? This is the discreetly hippie-dippy,
stealth-wealth option in the top 10. Most guests arrive by boat (the truly
wealthy take a seaplane), and they report that there’s something about
the first glimpse of this tiny palm-fringed dot that instantly knocks several
points off the old stressometer (although the potency of its famous welcome
cocktails probably contributes too). Several more knots and tensions disappear
because the 30 thatched bungalows don’t have phones, TVs or even alarm
clocks. This place is for people who don’t want suited and booted fawning
butlers and marble by the yard, but prefer a more egalitarian, beach-bum
approach, with roughed-up, chunky colonial-style furniture, outdoor showers
and hammocks made for two. The most exacting task for most is to stick a
flag in the sand to signal that they want another drink or a cool towel; or
to stroll down to Palapa Point for an outdoor oceanfront massage. There’s
live music most nights, but on at least one evening, have crab cakes by
torchlight on the beach — truly romantic. If money is absolutely no object,
the island also offers one of the most expensive short breaks in the world.
The million-dollar weekend includes exclusive use of the whole five acres, a
welcome bottle of Cristal champagne served in specially engraved flutes,
turndown gifts from the likes of Tiffany, use of the fully staffed 100ft
yacht and $1,000 to spend in the boutique. Oh, just peel me that grape and
be done with it.
Book it: call 00 1 305 872 2524 or visit www.littlepalmisland.com.
Seasons in Style (01244 202040, www.seasonsinstyle.com) has seven nights
from £4,050pp, room-only.
No money left?
TIME TO check into our pick of the world’s cheapest hotels.
POSADA DE LAS NUSTAS, Yumani, Bolivia
Perched on a ridge on Isla del Sol, the island where the sun was born, with stunning
views of Lake Titicaca from all the clean, cosy rooms. Who needs running
water? Doubles from £2.70 (no phone).
HARBIN RAILWAY HOSTEL, Harbin, China
When it’s 20 below outside, you need to find a warm welcome the moment
you stumble off the Trans-Siberian railway. No ensuite bathrooms, so it gets
a bit chilly if you’re caught short at night. Doubles from £3 (no
phone).
AL-HARAMAIN, Damascus, Syria
Off a tiny lane lined with tailors’ shops, this traditional Damascene
mansion overlooks an atmospheric courtyard. Get a bed on the roof from £1.60
(00 963 11 231 9489).
POSADA EL TUCAN, Flores, Guatemala
Clean rooms and riverside views in a laid-back tropical town, with a twist —
you sleep around a lively restaurant, walking through the tables to the showers.
Doubles from £2.90 (00 502 7926 0536).
KUMBHA PALACE, Udaipur, India
Huddled beneath the walls of the City Palace, this tiny all-ensuite hotel has nice
decor and a large garden. Dinner is served on the roof. Doubles from £1.90
(00 91 294 242 2702).
