The hotel: next time someone says that they’re going to the Cotswolds, ask them which one. There’s “the Cotswolds”, where west Londoners go to play in the inverted commas, but have to wipe their feet before they get back in the Cayenne, and there’s the Cotswolds: grounded and pretty, the kind of place where pheasants left hanging by the neck outside restaurants eyeball you as you walk in.

In the former, you can’t beat Barnsley House. In the latter, you have the Dial House – and, having recently fled London’s smug problem, that’s where we went. Built in 1698, it’s a classic chunk of honey-coloured stone sitting solidly in the middle of Bourton-on-the-Water, with 13 rooms, flagstone hallways and a great chef.

The Dial House is run by the husband-and-wife team who bought it as a tired old place six years ago, and everything from the little reception desk, tucked away in a nook, to the friendly but cautious service makes you feel like you’re staying in a house rather than a hotel. They also have what might just be the most romantic dinner table in the whole of the Cotswolds.

The rooms: the decor is deep, passionate colours and lush wallpapers with soft, lazy furnishings – ideal for soft, lazy, passionate or maybe just lush weekends. All the rooms are individually furnished with the owners’ interesting, one-off antiques. Three of the rooms have four-posters and fires; all are nonsmoking and, even better, nonchildren.

Disappointingly, the kettle and cup sets are very ordinary, a perfect fulfilment of the description “tea-making facilities”, but somehow lacking the panache of the rest of the styling. I suppose the tea that comes out of them is just as good, though. Apologies for straying into “the Cotswolds” for a moment there.

The food: the restaurant is small, just 26 diners, split between two rooms. Adrian, the owner, was worried that the party in the Inglenook Room might be a little too lively, so, as we were a couple, he placed us out of harm’s way in the Gold Room. Little antique mirrors are tied with a ribbon and placed randomly around the walls, reflecting light back off the wall sconces.

The menu is for people who believe a good meal leaves you feeling full, rather than amused. I had loin of Gloucester Old Spot (£17.50) – good and earthy – on a purée of potato, cut with a calvados jus. Adrian will recommend wines to sit alongside each course; so, although I know that my wife also ate, I can’t remember what she had. She seemed happy.

What to do: Bourton-on-the-Water draws hordes of tourists, but if you stay at the Dial House, you can leave early enough in the morning to beat the jam of coach parties, make a visit to Sudeley Castle (the site of Liz Hurley’s wedding), burn off last night’s dinner with a long walk over the hills and be back in Bourton when all the coach parties have gone, leaving just you and the little river running under the stone footbridges.

One for romantic fools? Definitely, but even more so when the hotel’s Summer House dining room is ready. There’s an old wooden rotunda in the gardens, just big enough for a table for two. There’ll be soft lighting and a bell to call the waiter from the hotel, so you can be left undisturbed. Just be sure to make it back to your room before romance gets a grip of you, you fool. What if I’m just a fool? “The Cotswolds” have plenty of other places that will welcome you.

Dial House, Bourton-on-the-Water, Gloucestershire; 01451 822244, www.dialhousehotel.com, doubles from £110, B&B

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