Vince Crump
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This coming Friday, Liverpool’s rather excitable Capital of Culture celebrations will reach a whole new hysterical pitch, when Beatles fans are invited to sleep with Paul McCartney.
Not in the flesh, you understand, but in spirit, with the opening of the city’s newest hotel, the Hard Days Night, which will feature “themed” rooms full of Lennon and McCartney miscellanea. The design details are top-secret, but we do know one thing: this is just the latest salvo in a worldwide craze for celebrity hotel suites.
The idea is to dress up a bedroom in honour of a famous name, and just about everybody has had the treatment, from presidents to pugilists to porn stars.
There are suites dedicated to legends large (Pavarotti, Pangkor Laut Resort, Malaysia) and smaller (Sir Cliff Richard, Arora International, Manchester).
Some offer quirky styling, such as Buffalo Bill’s suite at the Cliff House, in Colorado, with a ceiling shaped like a tepee; or Salvador Dali’s at Sea Spray, in Brighton, with its lobster telephone.
Others have original memorabilia – perhaps Somerset Maugham’s letters (Raffles, Singapore) or Winston Churchill’s umbrella (La Mamounia, Marrakesh). And some just have priceless celebrity cachet: did you know you can kip in the room where John Lennon staged the most famous lie-in in history?
You will in a moment. Here’s the pick of the hotel suites with star quality, from Brighton to Belgrade.
THE JOHN AND YOKO SUITE
Queen Elizabeth Hotel, Montreal
A bouquet of white flowers, a souvenir CD, a signature tea box with English jam and his-and-hers pyjamas “similar to John and Yoko’s”. Nobody could accuse the Fairmont Queen Elizabeth of failing to cash in on their most famous guest, the noted antimaterialist John Lennon.
They have even themed the package price: 1,969 Canadian dollars, to match the year the Lennons staged their week-long “Bed-In” in suite number 1742 here. The hotel did miss one trick, however: the Do Not Disturb sign should really say Give Peace a Chance.
You don’t have to order the daft trimmings to stay in the John and Yoko Suite, however, and it’s a genuinely calming space. On the 17th floor, it has eye-catching views of downtown Montreal, and the hotel has deliberately retained the whiteish decor from May 1969.
On the walls are a framed photo of the Bed-In and mounted gold discs of Give Peace a Chance – composed and performed here during their antiVietnam protest.
So, check in, put on your jimjams, order breakfast in bed (Lennon had the full English, naturally) and prepare for your most culturally significant lie-in ever. Book it: one night starts at £299, including breakfast, CD and gift; 00 1 514 861 3511, www.fairmont.com/queenelizabeth .
THE IAN FLEMING SUITE
Hilton Northolme Resort and Spa, Seychelles
Nobody loves pointless gadgetry as much as James Bond, but even he might balk at a Jacuzzi in the shape of 007 and a toilet flush that plays Diamonds Are Forever. These were just two of the ideas apparently considered for the new Ian Fleming Suite at the Northolme Resort, on Mahé, in the Seychelles, where Bond’s creator showed up in 1958, with his spats and his snorkelling gear, to write For Your Eyes Only.
The suite doesn’t need gimmicks like those. It’s sensational – a private villa teetering on stilts above the author’s favourite coral-tipped cove. Beyond the beach, lush sunsets dissolve behind Silhouette Island, which must be highly sought-after among master criminals needing a top-secret tropical lair.
The Fleming Suite does, however, come with a rainfall shower, a whirlpool bath, a circular bed and a Blofeld-style revolving chair. There’s also a state-of-the-art home theatre rig with a complete set of 007 movies – so you can have Diamonds Are Forever after all. Book it: £525 a night, B&B; 00 248 299 000, www.hiltonworldresorts.com
THE MARILYN MONROE SUITE
Hollywood Roosevelt, California
“A once-in-a-lifetime experience when ordinary people get to live like shallow celebrities.” So says one former guest of the Marilyn Monroe Suite at the Roosevelt – and you can see what she means.
Slap-bang on Hollywood Boulevard, the Roosevelt is a historic hotbed of Tinseltown glitz. It hosted the inaugural Oscars ceremony in 1929, and Norma Jean Baker posed for her first photo shoot on the hotel diving board.
Lately, it’s had a $12m face-lift, and room 229, where the actress stayed, is now the signature suite. It’s glam, glam, glam, with white vinyl walls and a huge print of a louche-looking Marilyn hanging in the bedroom – which also features a mirrored ceiling. Rehab queen Lindsay Lohan is among those who have already checked in, presumably to bask in the reflected glory.
From the suite’s L-shaped balcony, you can watch surgically enhanced starlets chugging mojitos by the Tropicana pool (famously painted by David Hockney) and pop M&M sweeties from a prescription pill bottle. A slightly vulgar touch, that. Book it: £1,170 a night, room-only; 00 1 323 466 7000, www.hollywoodroosevelt.com
THE LICHFIELD SUITE
Mandarin Oriental, Hong Kong
He was the Austin Powers of the House of Windsor – the groovy-suited, silver-bouffanted gentleman photographer to royals and rock stars alike. Lord Patrick Lichfield used Hong Kong’s swankiest hotel as his Asian home-from-home, and its new suite is a witty homage to his famous London studio, featuring giant lamps set on tripods and shiny metallic curtains. It also feels like a snapshot of the man himself – sharply turned out, lean and stylish, in a 1970s-retro way.
Designed by his pal Nicky Haslam, it’s a monochrome affair, with black leather sofas, cool white carpets and a suitably raffish bathroom offering wide-angle views of Hong Kong harbour.
The memorabilia is great: portraits of Brooke Shields, Joanna Lumley and Lichfield’s cousin Princess Margaret; and a time-capsule coffee table showcasing family photos, darkroom ephemera and the miniature Tabasco bottles he insisted on carrying everywhere. Classy chappie. Book it: £1,240 a night, room-only; 00 852 2820 4202, www.mandarinoriental.com/hongkong
BETTY’S BOUDOIR
Hotel Pelirocco, Brighton
This hotel is a bit like the Kenny Everett character who wore a pinstripe suit and bowler hat over fishnets and suspenders. Behind the respectable facade, a stuccoed Georgian townhouse on Brighton’s seafront, lurks Britain’s grooviest B&B, with 19 rooms custom-made for naughty weekends.
Designed by indie-punk icons such as Jamie Reid and Cissy Mo, each has its own theme: the Play Room is the sauciest, with a mirrored ceiling and lap-dancing pole (lessons available if you book ahead), and there are rooms dedicated to Leigh Bowery and Diana Dors.
Betty’s Boudoir is named after Bettie Page, the original 1950s sex kitten, and it’s typically kitsch and kinky, with framed prints of her in bondage gear, leopard-print throws, a whirlpool bath big enough for two, and a king-size cast-iron bed – perfect for handcuffs.
You can order up sinful treats from room service, including blindfolds, ostrich feathers and stuff that comes with batteries. As Everett’s immortal Cupid Stunt would say, it’s all done in the best possible taste. Book it: from £120 a night, B&B; 01273 327055, www.hotelpelirocco.co.uk
THE HITLER SUITE
Hotel Mr President, Belgrade
It’s no joke. Opened in November last year, Hotel Mr President claims to be the first “design hotel” in the Balkans, so you can expect regulation angular furniture, lots of cocoa-and-cream paintwork and flatscreen tellies. Oh, and an enormous oil painting of Hitler above the bed.
All 61 rooms are themed around a world leader, living or dead, and they include an iron fistful of murderous dictators: Stalin, Ceaucescu and more.
Our very own Baroness Thatcher has a room, while Tito and Roosevelt cohabit the Presidential Suite. But all the headlines have been grabbed by room 501 – the Hitler Suite, where the nastiest villain in modern history glares out in full swastika’d uniform from above the headboard.
The idea has outraged historians and Holocaust survivors, but Predrah Sibic, the hotel’s front-desk manager, is unrepentant about the Führer furore: “To be honest, it’s our most popular room. It’s fully booked for the next three weeks.” Book it: £126 a night, room-only; 00 381 113 612050, www.hotelmrpresident.com .
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Until now I'd never thought that I'd find the thought of an 'Express by Holiday Inn' sound attractive!
Alex Pease, Ã rnes, Nprway
For a modest £59.99 you can stay in the Nigel Davies suite: one of my spare bedrooms. Breakfast (weetabix), paper napkin and shared bathroom included.
Nigel Davies, Manchester, England