IN Nicholas Nickleby, Charles Dickens observes: “Wearing as much as they can of the airs and semblances of loftiest rank, the people of Cadogan Place have the realities of middle station.”

Whether the same is true these days is open to debate.

A stroll down Sloane Street to reach the Jumeirah Carlton Tower on Cadogan Place took me past almost every expensive fashion brand name: Gucci, Valentino, Fendi, D&G, Jimmy Choo, to name a few. Angular women in high heels tottered by, their eyes fixed on window displays. Bouncers in black stood with crossed arms, looking fierce yet calm.

At a Coutts Bank cashpoint - the “Queen's bankers” (is this where Her Majesty comes on Saturday mornings to make withdrawals?) - I turned left and found myself in front of the grand hotel entrance.

St James's Hotel & Club, Mayfair, SW1

A Victorian townhouse with exquisite decor and central Green Park location

BACKGROUND

• Park Plaza County Hall, Waterloo, London SE1

• Mandarin Oriental Hyde Park, London SW1

• The Lanesborough Hotel, Hyde Park Corner, London, SW1

• Jumeirah Carlton Tower, Knightsbridge, London SW1

BACKGROUND

• The Halkin, Belgravia, London SW1

• Dukes Hotel, Mayfair, London SW1

• The Berkeley Hotel, London SW1

• The Cadogan, London SW1

BACKGROUND

• 51 Buckingham Gate, London, SW1

• Haymarket Hotel, St James, London, SW1

• The Stafford, London, SW1

• 22 Jermyn Street, London SW1

Staying at the Jumeirah, part of the expanding Dubai-based property group, was an experiment. During these dire credit crunch days, are the super-rich still spending?

It certainly appeared that way. As the efficient receptionist dealt with my booking - after offering me a hot towel and a glass of fresh juice, as if I had just ventured across a United Arab Emirates desert to the hotel - I glanced around the lobby.

Gold and glittery, it had a bar called GILT on one side that looked like a jewellery box. Tall, glamorous blonde women glided about. Men in immaculately pressed suits sauntered by. Many were bald, many wore moustaches - and they all seemed pretty contented with life.

Trying to appear as if I belonged, I finished my juice and took the lift up, sharing it with a tall blonde who reminded me of Anna Kournikova.

My room was neat, small, with a cramped desk at the end of the bed, a marble bathroom and the faint sound of high-performance motorcycles outside. I noted from a booklet that there was a spa offering treatments such as “New Day, New You” and “The Intense Boost”.

I shared a lift down with another blonde, who reminded me of Paris Hilton. At the Rib Room, I was joined by a friend whose first comment was: “There are a lot of beautiful blonde women here.”

We ate fantastic steaks with Yorkshire puddings accompanied by fine wine in a red booth near a sculpture of a horse. Mario, our waiter, was charming and on the ball. We sat in our booth watching the super-rich defying the credit crunch... in fact, quite enjoying it all.

In the morning, I went to the upstairs gym. As I hit the treadmill, I looked out across Battersea power station, feeling briefly of the loftiest rank - before checking out and returning to my humbler station.

Bottom line Mystery Guest paid £269 for a double

Sampling the fare £72pp for two courses

Best thing Watching the super-rich

Worst thing Too lofty?

Need to know

Jumeirah Carlton Tower (020-7235 1234, www.jumeirahcarltontower.com), 2 Cadogan Place, London SW1X 9PY

Room 6 out of 10

Food 7 out of 10

Service 7.5 out of 10

Value 4 out of 10

Score 6.13

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