Is it a train? Is it a plane? No. It’s the wind, hurtling across the loch, racing up and over the ha-ha, roaring and rattling through the dark and shady woodlands, bringing rain.

Such downright filthy weather would be disappointing under different circumstances, but at Ardanaiseig it’s welcomed by hotel guests who, embedded in deep armchairs with the papers, watch it blow, and feel absolved from all obligation to move.

It takes a lot to completely quell the urge to walk. Or rather, it takes this, this stuff the friendly staff are calling "Scottish weather".

The hotel is set on the banks of Loch Awe in the Western Highlands, a ridiculously beautiful scene instantly familiar to lovers of expensive shortbread. In winter, the loch, whipped to a froth and switching from black to silver and back again, is just for looking at, and not for sauntering beside or, god forbid, rowing on, although from April onwards, boats can be hired from the private jetty (and when the water is warm and placid, being on it and puttering is reason enough to come).

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BACKGROUND

• Ardanaiseig Hotel, Kilchrenan, Argyll & Bute

• Loch Fyne Hotel, Inverary, Argyll

• Airds Hotel, Port Appin, Argyll

• Isle of Eriska Hotel, Ledaig, Argyll

• The George, Inveraray, Argyll

BACKGROUND

• Anchor Hotel, Tarbert, Argyll

• Craigard House Hotel, Campbeltown, Argyll

• Carradale Hotel, Carradale, Argyll

• Balinakill Country House, Clachan, Argyll

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Bens, bald, snowcapped and dusted with frosting rise up all around in humps and mounds for those of an intrepid, ambitious or perhaps perversely energetic nature to scale, and, across the gravel forecourt, trails lead off into the dense woods and shrubbery of the hotel grounds, a sanctuary so magically lush, it’s listed among the great gardens of Argyll and Bute.

The greenhouse in the walled garden is a good place to shelter. At dusk in a warmer, dryer season, it’s possible to lurk outside with a glass of wine and watch deer emerge from the foliage to graze on the lawn.

Happily there’s also much inside this Scottish baronial country house with its turrets and crenellations to warm the cockles of the heart, and if you have to, or wish to, be holed up over a winter weekend, this is the place to do it. No minimalist makeover here; the feel is warmly traditional with crackling log fires, Life of Gladstone, the complete works of Victor Hugo and the like in the bar library; the sofas are enveloping, the antiques, lamps and statuary plentiful.

But this is traditional with a playful and eccentric twist. The walls are deep red, blue and, in the long drawing room, gold, much of the artwork is amusing, there’s a snooker table in the games room and the staff are young and unstuffy.

Quirkiness extends to the 16 rooms, named after local landmarks, Ichrachan, Nevis, Orchy. A deep tub in the sky blue bathroom, and the big bed in the canary-yellow Chinese-themed bedroom of Ben Lui make fine vantage points for admiring the loch and its crannogs beyond the tall sash windows. Variety means there’s a style for everyone, including a super-modern, split-level, glass-fronted boatshed across the sodden lawn, and the standalone Rose Cottage.

The award-winning food is hearty fuel. After a couple of days of a four-course dinner (highlights including veloute of pumpkin with pancakes and shaved parmesan, smoked haddock risotto and curry foam, beef wellington, and hot chocolate fondant) and a breakfast of porridge with cream and honey and smoked kippers, a constitutional was eventually in order.

Rejecting push bikes, we set off on a brisk three-mile walk, tartan umbrellas blowing inside out and then away, optimistically in the direction of the local pub. It was closed. As it happens, while we were bleakly contemplating the plod back to the hotel, we were rescued by a nice man in a meat van and taken 14 miles down the road to the (not fancy but friendly) Taynuilt Hotel where we dried our socks by the open fire.

But winters being on the quiet side in these remote parts, I would strongly recommend anyone leaving the sanctuary of Ardanaiseig, to listen to the advice of the hotel staff, or perhaps drive a car.

Tripadvisor.co.uk users have reviewed the hotel over 50 times and give it an average rating of 4.5 out of 5. Comments include "quiet and flawless", "amazingly haunting, romantic and beautiful", with an "idyllic location", and "wonderful for weddings". The food, large bathrooms and antique furniture were much admired, although a couple of reviewers felt the hotel decor seemed on the tired and shabby side.

Bottom line: Feb-March £60-£97 (boatshed £123) per person per night including full Scottish breakfast. Variety of package rates online.

Best thing: the relaxing ambience

Worst thing: set dinner menu a little daunting over multiple nights.

Getting there: seaplane and steamboat are seasonal alternatives to driving, if travelling from the southeast, the Caledonian Sleeper from Euston (get off at Crianlarich for connections to Taynuilt) is a truly romantic option.

Need to know: Ardanaiseig Hotel, Kilchrenan by Taynuilt, Scotland PA35 1HE; tel. 01866 833333; www.ardanaiseig.com

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