I knew that an easyHotel wouldn’t be the Ritz, but this was ridiculous. EasyHotel Paddington sits around the corner from St Mary’s Hospital (where Sir Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin in 1928) and next door to a shop with blackened windows and a sign saying: “Discreet Adult Centre: DVDs, mags and lingerie”.

The façade of the building was covered in a spider’s web of cracks. Dreary flowers drooped from a couple of hanging baskets by the bright orange windows. Rubbish blew in a swirl in the doorway. Shady characters slipped into the Discreet Adult Centre.

Inside the hotel was a tiny, bright orange-coloured reception area with a vending machine selling crisps, chocolate and soft drinks. As I waited for the receptionist, I drank over-stewed coffee from a free dispenser. Then I was shown a room. This was tiny, too, with a tiny window and a tiny shower room. It was one of the best in the hotel — some rooms do not have windows — with a bright orange wall by the bed. I felt as though I had stepped into a Dutch prison.

So began my day-long dash around London’s best new “no frills” hotel rooms. We asked the top budget hotels in London — easyHotel, Premier Inn, Holiday Inn Express, Travelodge and Ibis — to show us their latest offerings so that we could find out what it’s like to stay at the cheapest chains as the economic downturn continues to churn.

So much for easyHotel: £49 a night for a Dutch cell? Not worth the crime. But the next on the list, Premier Inn Kensington, was more like it: a grand, well-painted Victorian building, not far from Earls Court Tube station on the West Cromwell Road.

Admittedly the busy road was offputting, but the hotel interior was quiet, thanks to good window-glazing, with a purple-themed reception lounge that looked inviting. A bar with leather stools, a selection of wines and a Costa Coffee section led to a restaurant illuminated by spotlights.

There were two airport-style check-in kiosks and a friendly receptionist, who took me to see the rooms. One was absolutely enormous, with a bay window at the front (numbers 14-17 are all like this); the other was pretty decent, too. There were bathtubs, rather than easyHotel’s telephone kiosk-sized shower rooms. Even though the rate at this “budget hotel” was £87 for a double, I was surprised at the high standard. All rooms are the same price.

But is that really so budget? The less centrally located Holiday Inn Express Wandsworth cost a lot less, with doubles from £59 and continental breakfast included. The downside was that it looked a bit like a 1980s council block, just around the corner from a giant roundabout, a BP garage and a McDonald’s.

The reception reminded me of Alan Partridge. Take My Breath Away by Berlin was playing as I surveyed a scattering of horseshoe-shaped armchairs next to a nondescript bar. Ugly modern sub-Rothko art hung on the walls. By contrast, bedrooms were decently sized with a peach and lilac colour scheme and a choice of soft or firm pillows.

Travelodge Tower Bridge certainly does not have pillow choices. Instead it has 190 rooms in a former office block that looks like a large rectagular lump of concrete.

Rooms were simple and minimalist to the point of almost forgetting to include beds. However, they were neatly decorated, with reasonable showers, and there was a trendy-looking downstairs restaurant serving curries and jacket potatoes. Alternatively, you could order a pizza plus garlic and cheese dough balls (£5.95) to eat alone in your minimalist room.

Book a week ahead and the Travelodge’s rates can be as low as £29 for a double (not bad) — if not it comes to as much as £85 (very bad). For £10 less than Travelodge’s highest price, however, you could get a double in the best no-frills options of all.

The Ibis, in East Aldgate, around the corner from Brick Lane, was a revelation: a fun French-owned hotel, part of the Accor group, with a cozy bistro serving filet de boeuf with sauce au poivre, and sea bass with mange tout, on tables with checked table clothes next to Le Bar, with French wines from £3.95 a glass.

Mon dieu!” I thought. Rooms were neat in a Gallic way, with large showers, turquoise curtains and peachcoloured walls. There was not only room service but also a same-day laundry service: try asking for that back in Paddington.

I ate a decent croque monsieur and drank a glass of Badoit mineral water at Le Bar. A French chanteuse warbled about l’amour on the stereo. This “no frills” actually had a few thrills.

Need to know

EasyHotel Paddington (020-7706 9911, www.easyhotel.com), 10 Norfolk Place, London W2; doubles from £49.

Premier Inn Kensington (0870 2383304, www.premierinn.com), 22-32 West Cromwell Road, London SW5; doubles from £87.

Holiday Inn Express Wandsworth (0871 4234876, www.hiexpress.co.uk), Smuggler’s Way, London SW18; doubles from £59.

Travelodge Tower Bridge (0871 9846388, www.travelodge.co.uk), 1 Goodmans Yard, London E1; doubles from £29.

Ibis (020-7422 8400, www.ibishotel.com), 5 Commercial Sreet, London E1; doubles from £75.

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