Hartwell House is like staying at a friend’s grand country house. The architecture, gardens, paintings and furniture are exquisite but no one makes a fuss about them. Staff treat you as if you are returning home, the bathrooms are reminder of a time before water shortages: overpackaged bottles and soaps, power showers and his an’ hers basins, and the beds demonstrate the lunacy of today’s vogue for hard matresses.

In fact the bed was so soft I would happily have spent all my time at Hartwell House on my back for that and other reasons - like the hotel’s sensational ceilings and its spa treatments.

The Rococco plasterwork in the Great Hall by the Italians Artari and Bagutti takes us to Horace’s garden near Rome and into a mythological garden where the Minator is watching Knowledge sketch the fall of Rome. Guests admire this from cloud-soft sofas and armchairs around a log fire in a fireplace guarded by fierce man/pillar herms.

The jaw-dropping splendour of this room, by the eighteenth century architect James Gibbs, is a curtain raiser to more beautful rooms: the library, drawing room and morning room. And then there is the Jacobean staircase. The ballusters are carved into soldiers, bare breasted women and more while some of the figures, waving weapons or scowling, stand proud of the handrail.

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BACKGROUND

• The Crazy Bear, Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire

• Jurys Inn, Milton Keynes

• Stoke Park Club, Stoke Poges, Buckinghamshire

• Hartwell House, Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire

• The Compleat Angler, Marlow, Buckinghamshire

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• Stoke Park Club, Stoke Poges, Buckinghamshire

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I loved it but Louise XVIII’s (Louise the Fat) Queen, Marie Josaphine, whose room I used at Hartwell, was so spooked by the figures that she had them taken down.

The French Royals, and their court, stayed at Hartwell from 1809-1814 and turned the second floor roof terrace into a smallholding with crops, rabbits and chickens.

Bizarre, given the 90 acres of grounds at their disposal. The gardens, or rather the early eighteenth century formal gardens which were swept away by the landscape craze, had made me want to visit Hartwell. They were captured in a series of contemporary paintings by Balthazar Nebot and, in my head, I have strolled around the canal, bowling green, wildernesses and follies for many years.

So it was intriguiging to stroll the grounds as they are today, trying to picture them as they had been. The bridge across lake is a span from a bridge at Kew which arrived here in the early twentieth century. Later in the century the landscaper Sir Geoffrey Jellicoe moved the equestrian statue of Frederick Prince of Wales from the depths of the garden to outside the front door and said of Hartwell that it represented: "a saga of historic landscape design: nearly all periods can be found... estate house, and gardens blossomed under the Tudors, and again in the eighteenth century, when James Gibbs was called in to reorganize the gardens and park".

In the morning the park had been given a makeover – the first frost of the year had painted the landscape white.

The intervening few hours gave time for tea. The full tea with scones and cakes costs £16 and looked lovely although I saved myself for dinner, which was good rather than outstanding. I started with fois gras which was excellent but my main course of fish was disappointing and pudding – pear ice cream with a hot chocolate cake – was well made but not to my taste. Having said that the set menu at £38 for three courses including coffee, sweetmeats, VAT and service, was good value.

The Royal Room, where I stayed, is a dual aspect haven packed with intriguing pictures, artefacts, and squashy armchairs. The four poster, roughly the size of a tennis court, was beyond comfort and, given a chance, I would have hauled it down the Jacobean staircase and motored home with it.

The evening after I stayed at Hartwell I mentioned my criminal thoughts to an Oxford don who said it was probabaly a good idea I had resisted because Hartwell is rather good at security – "It’s where we put our high profile visitors" said the don, whose own college is a fortress and whose guests include Bill Clinton.

Thinking back to the charmingly discreet staff I wondered whether all of them where crack shots, with guns stuck down their garters. Jonathan Thompson, the hotel’s manager would certainly fit the pre-Daniel Craig James Bond mould.

And if some of the staff have a dual function it would be in keeping with Hartwell House itself, which is Jacobean from one side and eighteenth century from the other where a whole new house was built and eventually amalgamated with the old.

Bottom line: Rooms cost from £160 to £650 per night to include early morning tea, continental breakfast, use of the spa, service and VAT. A "special occasion break" costs from £425 -£800 per night based on two people sharing and include a dinner allowance, champagne, chocolates and a VIP shopping voucher for Bicester Village. A three course set menu plus coffee and sweetmeats costs £38 including service and VAT.

Best thing: The most comfortable bed in the world. And the service.

Worst thing: A roller blind in the bathroom stopped the original shutters from closing.

Access all areas: The hotel is wheelchair accessible in all areas and two rooms have been adapted for guests in a wheelchair. The spa is a one minute walk from the main hotel which can be done in a wheelchair but staff will drive guests to and from the spa if necessary. Wheelchair users do not have access to the Spa’s Buttery Café

Need to know: Hartwell House, Oxford Road nr Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire. HP17 8NR; www.hartwell-house.com; tel. 01296 747444

Food: 7 out of 10

Service: 10 out of 10

Room: 9 out of 10

Value: Priceless

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