Simpsons calls itself “the hottest restaurant in the Midlands”. It offers “contemporary French cuisine”. It is a fine and civilised place. But be warned: take a small appetite and a large wallet.

I order fillet of turbot and am amazed by what arrives: two pieces of fish the size of business cards, three slices of smoked aubergine and a spoonful of spinach. It is delicious, prepared and presented with exemplary flair, an exquisite style statement. But at £23, it works out at about £4 a forkful.

Of course, you pay for the setting, which is where this Michelin-starred restaurant-with-rooms scores highly. Opened in September 2004, it rescued a handsome Victorian villa from neglect and added a veranda-conservatory overlooking a rhododendron-fringed lawn. The decor is smart and clean, with more than a hint of Hotel du Vin-style restraint, and the staff, half-a-dozen of them French, are welcoming.

There are four themed bedrooms: French, Venetian, Oriental and Colonial. We choose Colonial: sizeable and comfortable, though a touch sober with its browns and beiges and its dark-wood furniture. The bathroom is bright and efficient, although one of the bath’s panels is broken and we have to ask for towels (profuse apologies, monsieur).

We pass a pleasant half-hour counting the cushions piled on the bed and go down to dinner. What a bustling, theatrical experience it is: a cluster of dining rooms with waiters ricocheting from room to room like pinballs. Despite all this activity, the tables are private and the atmosphere is relaxed and good-humoured. When my wife, a vegetarian, points out that the caviar in the pea soup disqualifies it, the waiter sighs with great sorrow and edges away. Perhaps, as a Frenchman, he fears vegetarianism is contagious.

At £20 for two courses, the veggie menu is considerably cheaper than the regular one. But after minimalist goat’s- cheese gnocchi and a sample-like serving of chestnut and artichoke ravioli, my wife (no glutton) declares: “What a lovely snack!” and fills up with the bread being constantly touted round the tables.

The 12.5 per cent service charge is “discretionary”, although the bill automatically includes it, so you would have to object. Breakfast is continental. Oh, and the wine list runs to a burgundy at £1,000 a throw.

I wish them luck.

Bottom line: Stephen McClarence paid £160 for a double room, including breakfast.

Sampling the fare: Dinner for two, with coffee, wine and one dessert, was £92.45, plus £11.56 service charge.

What we think: Plenty of style, but risks pretentiousness.

Best thing: The staff.

Worst thing: The portions, but let’s not labour the point.

Access all areas: Wheelchair access to restaurant, but not to bedrooms.

Need to know: Simpsons (0121-454 3434, www.simpsonsrestaurant.co.uk), 20 Highfield Road, Edgbaston, Birmingham.

Room: 7 out of 10.

Food: 7 out of 10.

Service: 9 out of 10.

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BACKGROUND

• Malmaison Birmingham

• Simpsons, Edgbaston, Birmingham

• Nitenite, Holliday Street, Birmingham

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