The hotel? The Samling calls itself a house in the country rather than a country-house hotel. Which might sound like meaningless promobabble, but it’s true that spending a weekend here is rather like being given the run of your wealthy friend’s country pad — complete with staff, top-class kitchen and well-stocked wine cellar.

There’s no reception desk (just a bureau in the hall), no bar (help yourself to drinks from the lounge) and no need to get dressed for breakfast (full English is wheeled into your room as standard). If, for some reason, you’re not arriving by helicopter — as Posh ’n’ Becks and Tom ’n’ Nicole did — staff can meet you at the train. And with just 10 rooms, most of them suites, you’ll find no corridors of anonymous doors, and no squashing together on the sitting room’s squishy sofas.

From canapés to petits fours, the food’s fantastic, with local ingredients given a classy touch by the former Aubergine chef — all velouté of Jerusalem artichoke, white truffle and glazed venison. The decor is a tasteful mix of antique and modern, and rooms come with oodles of home comforts — open fires, candles, two-person baths, Molton Brown toiletries. All but one have gorgeous lake views, but go for “Pym” and you get the Old Man of Coniston too.

It might be pushing it to suggest you won’t want to leave your room, but you hardly need to step beyond the grounds. Built in the 1780s, the house sits in its own 67-acre hillside estate overlooking Windermere. As well as wandering potential, there’s a croquet lawn and what might be the country’s best outdoor hot tub-with-a-view.

And if I’d like to step beyond the grounds? Set off through the orchard behind the house, and two hours of cracking scenery later you can be in Troutbeck, enjoying a pub lunch at the Queens Head. And if you don’t march on your stomach, the Samling will send a 4WD to pick you up afterwards.

Of course, the Lake District is bursting at the seams with good walks. For something gentle, head for Tarn Hows, a £2 ferry trip across Windermere — a sheltered, picturesque sheet of water — and you can leave the gaiters and Gore-Tex at home; a round-lake stroll takes about an hour. If you want to make a picnic of it, stock up on Cumberland sausage pie at the Apple Pie in Ambleside.

But isn’t winter the wrong time to go to Cumbria? Far from it. The coach parties have dwindled to a trickle and the low sun gives the hills and lakes a warm glow — all russet bracken, mossy green and distant snow. Some views are even better than in summer, because the leaves are on the ground rather than in the way.

For an interesting alternative to the Wordsworth and Beatrix Potter trails, try the Ruskin Museum (01539 441164; £3.50) in Coniston, then visit the pioneering artist and thinker’s former home, Brantwood House (01539 441396; £4.50).

A mile or so beyond the tackiness of Bowness is Blackwell House (01539 446139; £4.50), a beautiful 19th-century arts-and-crafts house. Watch the light change across Windermere from one of its many inglenooks.

Who should go? Weekenders who like the scenery indoors to be as beautiful as it is out.

Who shouldn’t? Confirmed urbanites who like their fresh air from a unit on the wall.

The Samling, Windermere; 01539 431922, www.thesamling.com. From £99pp for a double to £144pp for a full suite, including four-course dinner and full breakfast; B&B rates available

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