So this is what £450 a night brings you, I think, after being in Gleneagles for precisely one minute: efficient, cheerful service that is incredibly child friendly. The receptionist doesn’t bat an eyelid when I change my babysitting arrangements at the eleventh hour and opt instead for an early supper with my toddler. She chats and plays with him, as do the rest of the staff during our stay.

Gleneagles is one of the most child-friendly hotels in the UK. There’s free milk at bedtime, and swimming nappies on hand at the children’s pool. Bikes are available to ride around the extensive grounds, and the playroom, where overtwos can be left while parents enjoy a bit of downtime, is filled with every conceivable toy.

For older children, activities include archery, riding, golf, falconry, and driving around in mini-Land Rovers.

But although the bike hire is free, everything else comes with a hefty fee, which considering you’ve taken out a second mortgage for the room, makes the whole experience ridiculously overpriced.

Our room was one up from the standard fare, so I was expecting something special. A mile down the Art Deco corridor, however, the room had a view not of scenic Perthshire hills but of the service entrance, with beer crates giving on to the car park.

Looking at the maroon-coloured walls and walnut furniture, I understood why dour is used so often as an adjective in Scotland. The twin room I had asked for turned out to be zip and link beds made up individually but still pushed together, with no space between them.

The bathroom, though, was spectacular and big enough to live in, with a claw-foot bath, walk-in shower and marshmallow fluffy towels.

Dinner was disappointing. Served in a room reminiscent of a Seventies ballroom, the seafood and vanilla bisque lacked vanilla flavour, while the tournedos of Scottish beef with beef pie lacked any flavour. The pie was dry, with stringy meat. So was my son’s chicken. The excruciating formality of the service meant we didn’t hang around for pud.

But breakfast was a wonderful spread, with blueberries in the fruit selection, Innocent smoothies for the little ones, and everything else you could wish for, including cookies.

That left my son happy, which is priceless, so perhaps Gleneagles isn’t so expensive after all.

Bottom line: Jane Knight paid £450 for a Sovereign room, including breakfast and dinner.
Need to know: The Gleneagles Hotel, Auchterarder, Perthshire, Scotland, PH3 1NF (01764 662231, www.gleneagles.com). Sampling the fare: Overly formal and didn’t live up to expectations.
Access all areas: Some rooms for the disabled.
Best thing: Child-friendly staff.
Worst thing: The view from our room.
Room: 4 out of 10.
Food: 7 out of 10 (breakfast: 10 out of 10).
Service: 10 out of 10.
Value: 5 out of 10.

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