Tucked away in the fields outside Glasgow near the Kilpatrick hills is a new
Scottish base for the world's A list. More secluded than the city centre’s
One Devonshire Gardens, Mar Hall is still only a 20-minute drive from the
hustle and bustle of the west end.
The hotel guards its guests’ privacy like a stone rottweiler, but browse
through the guest book and you’ll see a smattering of actors and musicians.
A certain world-famous songstress is even rumoured to be resting her petite
head on its plump pillows after playing the SECC this week.
For us mere mortals, Mar Hall offers a chance to indulge in some rock-star
fantasies. This is where you will be staying when you finally quit your job,
lay down those tracks you've had in your head since you were a teenager and
become the international superstar you were destined to be before you joined
senior management.
This is where you would stay if you were Rod, Billy or Annie.
Once home to the Lord of Blantyre, Mar Hall is a manorial gothic building
settled sphinx-like on the south bank of the Clyde. Local readers will
remember it as the Erksine hospital, while others will recall the days when
it was the Princess Louise hospital for limbless sailors and soldiers. The
solemnity of its former purpose is still recognisable from the outside — a
sweeping drive leads up to its side entrance (currently slightly tarnished
by a foreground of Mercs awaiting the new car park), complete with imposing
bronze stags. Stone steps lead up to the entrance porch.
Its healing properties are more immediately obvious around the back — creep
round the sides and you'll find a suntrap terrace with fountains and paths
sheltered by the outstretched arms of the house. Inside, though, the decor
screams contemporary opulence. These days Scotland's uber-hip afternoon tea
brigade sashay through the doors. Served in the Grand hall, many a
glamourous shopper kicks off their slingbacks and lays down their Armani
bags to the gentle clink of china. Here the walls are hung with tapestries,
while antique armchairs cluster in gold and russet around tables.
At weekends a jazz pianist performs on the baby grand, but during the week it
is so calm and peaceful you can hear the turning of a newspaper page. You
could walk off the sandwiches and scones with a short stroll in the formal
gardens, but those with rooms won't need too much encouragement in retiring
to them. Here rock-star tastes have been catered for with a uniform
combination of classical elegance and contemporary luxe.
There are four-posters draped in burgundy and vanilla silk, or art-deco
doubles with bronze quilts and striped chaise longues; there are
half-testers hung in tranquil shades of grey and aqua, while the piece de
resistance, room 22, is a resplendent haven of green and purple, complete
with a huge gold gilded mirror. Three attic rooms, meanwhile, are all
feminine old-world charm, with tiny windows that peer over ornate chimney
pots along the roof line.
Having explored the house, we had a quick power shower before heading down to
dinner, stopping off in the Tattinger bar for a cocktail by the fireplace as
we ordered from the menu.
Mar Hall is certainly the kind of place where you dress for dinner: the women
are elegantly coiffed, the men dapper in dark suit jackets. It's easy to see
that the Cristal restaurant could become popular among the smart west coast
set. Its stylish ornate gilded ceilings, delicate chandeliers and slinky
marble fireplace make it perfect for both a romantic dinner for two and a
job promotion celebration for eight, while there is a separate private
dining room for larger parties marking a round-figured anniversary.
It's clear where the battle lines for Scotland's A-list are drawn: even Jim
Kerr, the chef, was nicked from One Devonshire Gardens, so of course the
food is superb. Local ingredients are matched with imported seasonings from
Japan, creating a refreshing Scottish-Oriental approach. New-style sashimi
was a lilting coalition of sesame smokiness and fresh spring flavours, while
a dish of pheasant with apricots was so fine in its autumnal fruitiness, it
verged on Keatsian. A decadent chocolate torte was dense and luscious.
We left our ultra-comfy deco chairs to take coffee in the bar, where we sunk
into a sofa and watched the lights twinkling from the other side of the
Clyde. Tempting as it was to stay there all night, we eventually returned to
our boudoir. Seduced by the crispness of the air, we decamped with the bed
cushions to the floor by the vast full-length bay window to watch the Moon
rise over the ancient yew tree outside. Cranking one of the windows open a
few inches, we talked to the fountain playing in the terrace below. Wine in
hand, shoes kicked off, evening dress still on — there can't be many more
pleasant places for a nocturnal téte-â-téte so close to Scotland's mean city.
Next morning, we arose to our room drenched in sunshine. With no sound except
for the birds, it was tempting to stay between the sheets for as long as
possible. We ordered tea for two and sustained ourselves with rounds of
fruity shortbread as we propped up on the bank of pillows with the morning
paper.
Luckily, the breakfast team at the Cristal are used to bizarre demands and
didn't bat an eyelid at our requests for scrambled eggs and smoked salmon
with Stornoway black pudding on the side.
All that remained was to decide what to do with our day. The hotel can arrange
falconry, archery and clay-pigeon shooting on its estate. The gothic country
house is also home to the UK's first and only Aveda spa, a long-favoured
celebrity tonic. Therapies are based on holistic ayurvedic principles, so an
initial consultation will determine which "element" you are. Even
this first step is flagrantly pampering, with a gorgeous foot massage as you
fill in your forms.
Few things could be a better antidote to stress than lying in a darkened room
with magical potions massaged gently into your skin, as you try not to drift
off to sleep. If only beauty rituals were always this much fun. A pool and
gym will soon be ready to help keep bodies honed, while the spa also offers
hairdressing, manicures and pedicures, as well as Vichy showers and mud
treatments.
Local attractions are, of course, obvious. Mar Hall is only a short drive
from the shores of Loch Lomond. Neighbouring Glasgow is renowned for its
excellent shops and art galleries, which are among the best in the UK. Visit
the funky Lighthouse, the Kelvingrove art gallery or the Burrell collection
for a culture hit, then try Cruise, the Italian Centre, Urban Outfitters,
and Ice for top-class glad rags and little black outfits. Of course, for the
real stars unwilling to venture out into the streets, there's always the
on-site personal designer shopping facility.
Details: Mar Hall, Bishopton, near Glasgow (0141 812 9999, www.marhall.com),
double rooms from £175
