In a world of identikit, could-be-anywhere hotels, thank goodness for the Witchery. At the end of the Royal Mile, almost in the shadow of Edinburgh Castle, it’s “the perfect lust den”, according to singer Dannii Minogue after she stayed here with her then-paramour, the racing driver Jacques Villeneuve. Stepping into my room, the Sempill, tucked 30 yards from reception down a small, shadowy alleyway called Jollie’s Close, it would be impossible to disagree. This has to be Britain’s most romantic love nest. Must be why it’s booked up nine months ahead for weekends.

The Sempill, which is in a 16th-century building, oozed history. The wooden floorboards creaked down the long, dimly lit passageway, which led to a kitchen, drawing room, bathroom (with roll-top bath — perfect squeeze for two) and bedroom, with oak four-poster, and a few modern touches such as a Bose stereo, television and DVD player. Thick, sensual paper covered the walls, heavy curtains blocked any notions of a place called “the outside world”, and there were lashings of gilt and antique furniture.

It might be more appropriate to call the Witchery a restaurant with seven suites. There are two places to eat. The Witchery itself — the very spot where witches were burnt in the 1500s – is all dark wood panelling and sumptuous, red leather seats, more suited to frosty winter nights. The Secret Garden, where I dined with two friends, is down some stone steps and is on the site of a former school playground. The atmosphere, enhanced by flickering candles, could not be faulted. Nor could the professional, attentive service and the wine list.

The food was a little more hit and miss. Fleur’s steak tartare and husband Rodger’s foie gras parfait starters got high marks, but my main chargrilled “Côte de Boeuf” with morels stuffed with roquefort (£27) was not bad, but hardly memorable. A selection of farmhouse cheeses, with walnut loaf and grape chutney, was a good way to finish things off.

Next morning a basket of goodies — cereals, pain au chocolat, jams, fruit salad, yoghurt, coffee — was delivered to my room. A cooked breakfast in the dining room (extra £13) is available, but the owners, wisely, believe that most couples want a romantic breakfast à deux. For many guests, emerging reluctantly for the midday checkout, food will have been the last thing on their minds.

Bottom line: Will Hide paid £295 for the Sempill Suite, which included breakfast.

Sampling the fare: Dinner, with two courses, wine, coffee and service, averaged £63pp.

What we think: The ultimate romantic getaway.

Best thing: Atmosphere.

Worst thing: Some rooms can be affected by street noise.

Access all areas: No.

Need to know: The Witchery, Castlehill, Edinburgh (0131-225 5613, www.thewitchery.com ).

Room: 9 out of 10.

Food: 7 out of 10.

Service: 8 out of 10.

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