The hotel? A small ferry leaves Lymington Pier and drops you just a few feet away from the garden of The George. In fact, Yarmouth is so small that the ferry drops you just a few feet from anywhere in town. But see that nice green lawn as the ferry pulls in? That’s where you’re heading. Slip off your shoes, order a G&T and ponder the fate of all those poor souls stuck in a traffic jam somewhere else. The mainland is only three miles away, and it’s strangely reassuring to be able to keep an eye on where you left everything behind.

I’m feeling better already. That’s the spirit. The George used to be the official residence of the governor of the island. The entrance hall, with its flagstone flooring, cream-and- yellow panelling and discreetly placed reception desk, immediately makes you feel as if you are visiting a grand home rather than a bland hotel. The wooden staircase is surprisingly broad, until you realise it was built to allow the unruffled passage of the wide-hooped skirts of its time.

Upstairs, there are 17 bedrooms — some are boldly decorated in deep red, the others have a nice way with chintz. One of the rooms has a four-poster bed; two others share a balcony deck overlooking the garden and the Solent. When we arrived at dusk, added entertainment was provided by a naval frigate perfecting its turning circle just offshore.

Back downstairs, you can slip further into the holiday spirit with a quick aperitif in the wood-panelled residents’ sitting room, with board games, fading copies of Country Life and log fire included.

For the best dining on the island, you have to travel about 10ft, back across the entrance hall, to the Michelin-starred restaurant (remember to dress “smart casual”) or the less formal brasserie. The menu for the formal table d’hôte is typical modern English, with good twists on lamb, rabbit and fish dishes. In the brasserie, there is a larger selection of seafood — we had a very tasty lobster in a mussel sauce. Whatever you go for, take a stroll around the garden after the main course — the sea air might just stoke your appetite in time for pudding.

Besides scoffing, what is there to do around here? The Isle of Wight isn’t known for its nightlife, and outside Cowes Week, life has a wonderfully gentle pace. There are a couple of good pubs in Yarmouth, but otherwise you don’t come here to do things. You come to do nothing.

Perhaps a little walk? If you brought the car, get in it and drive over to the Needles. It’s the best walk on the island, with all the ingredients for a classic: dramatic scenery, with cliffs on either side; a best time of the day (sunset, when the light from the sea on three sides is fantastic); sheep (plenty); and something to make you try to remember your O-level geo-graphy at the end of it (eroded chalk-cliff thingies). In all, it takes about an hour — a little bit more if you time it right and visit the tearoom out at the point.

Walking = appetite. Right, back in the car and head for the New Inn at Shalfleet (01983 531314), one of the best pubs in the country. It has great food, a gigantic menu, with seafood cooked every possible way, and a long, proud wine list, with some options even some experts might not have heard of. A glass of Picpoul, anyone?

I’ve still got itchy feet. When will you learn to relax? What you need is a nice, gentle hobby. Collecting antiques, for instance. Head to Ventnor, where every shop has something good in it.

Who should go? Anyone who wants a real break, but doesn’t expect too much excitement when they get there.

Who shouldn’t go? Clubbers, stress junkies, people who insist on good mobile-phone coverage.

The George (01983 760331, www.thegeorge.co.uk) has doubles from £175, B&B (with balcony from £225); table d’hôte dinner in the restaurant costs £45 for three courses (closed Monday and Sunday); in the brasserie, mains cost about £15.

Ferry transfers from Lymington take half an hour and cost £10.60 return for foot passengers and from £41 for a car and up to four passengers, through Wightlink (0870 582 7744, www.wightlink.co.uk). Check for internet discounts

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