Martin Miller, owner of this splendidly eccentric country house in Wookey Hole in Somerset, has written a novel that happens to be about his hotel. Shiny hardback copies are in reception, piled next to a coat of armour wearing sunglasses while “smoking” a large cigar.

“Do take a copy, they're free,” said a smiley blonde receptionist, who quickly added: “None of the characters is actually based on the staff.”

She made this point twice. And as I settled into a squidgy sofa in the drawing room with a copy - drinking a large G&T from an honour bar, admiring the stuffed peacocks, oriental vases and peculiar higgledy-piggledy piles of novels that are piled everywhere - I could understand why.

I flicked open the book at page 110. “Alexandra was wonderful in every way,” said Tarmin Rimell, the protagonist and owner of the hotel in the novel (the name making little attempt to hide the connection with Miller). “She just felt the right temperature. She didn't fidget, she didn't snore. Her body was perfect ... exactly what he hoped for from a fit volleyball player.”

Mount Somerset Hotel, Taunton, Somerset

This is a place to relax and luxuriate, to dress for dinner, and to play the country squire

BACKGROUND

• The Old Cider House, Nether Stowey, Somerset

• Glencot House, Wookey Hole, Somerset

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• More reviews of hotels in Somerset

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• Mount Somerset Hotel, Taunton, Somerset

After a “fourth time” and “heavenly slurping sounds”, Alexandra leaves Tarmin's room having “hardly exchanged twenty words”.

Miller's self-published book The Wookey Hole Affair sets the tone at Glencot House: outrageous, slightly scandalous, extravagant, and enjoying life very much indeed.

I couldn't help but like the place. Miller, who made his fortune from Miller's Antiques Price Guides, a series begun in the 1980s, bought Glencot House in 2006 and he has transformed the Jacobean-style building dating from the 1870s into a wonderful 15-room retreat next to a peaceful turn of the Axe River on the edge of the village of Wookey Hole. (He owns a sister hotel in Westbourne Grove in West London.)

There are so many strange and curious antiques to take in that you find yourself almost sleepwalking around staring at tapestries, tiger sculptures, stuffed deer heads, marble egg collections, Buddhas and classical statues.

Our room had a picture of a ginger maiden holding a scythe, a bust of a Greek god wearing a Mongolian helmet, an Aphrodite print, Victorian cartoons and a TV perched on a pile of books that included Enid Blyton and a Roget's Thesaurus.

We ate dinner in a candlelit room with an ostentatious chandelier, more piles of novels, and fellow diners discussing farming. My duck was tender, though (I'm afraid to say) nothing special, the risotto was deemed “good” by my companion. The service was prompt and friendly.

Downstairs there's a snooker room, a plunge pool, a sauna, and a cinema room with low-slung sofas and a crazy collection of dolls on a wall. Miller's is mad and unashamedly full of it (especially antiques).

Bottom line Mystery Guest paid £165 for a B&B double

Sampling the fare Three courses with wine for two, £95

Best thing Its wackiness

Worst thing Room was small

Need to know Miller's at Glencot House (01749 677160, www.glencothouse.co.uk), BA5 1BH

Room 7.5 out of 10

Food 6.5 out of 10

Service 8 out of 10

Value 8 out of 10

Score 7.5

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