Mystery Guest:
Win tickets to the ATP finals

Rain was driving down as I stood at midnight in a dark lane above Penzance harbour staring at a distinguished, sky-blue building with a doorway shaped like a tall, thin croquet hoop. No lights were on. I tried the door. Locked. I rang a bell. Still no response. The rain came down even more heavily — as I wondered what to do.
Then a small man with wavy hair, wearing pyjamas, opened the door. He ushered me along, up a creaky staircase and down a narrow corridor to a twin bedroom with a low ceiling.
It was colourful, flowery and small. There was a lovely oil painting of a beach, an old picture of a boat, wallpaper decorated in poppies, pink towels, and a bedcover with a floral pattern. A few moments ago I’d been half-contemplating sleeping in a bus shelter, now I was about to spend the night in some sort of nautical doll’s house.
I’d been tipped off about the Abbey. On hearing of my miserable time at the Land’s End Hotel last year, a reader wrote to say that it “would restore my faith” in the area’s hospitality. So I caught a late train to Cornwall.
The hotel is one of the most historic buildings in the seaside town, dating back 400 years, with the dining room and the reception being the only two rooms to have survived burning by the Spanish in the mid-17th century (according to the website).
The name comes from the building being used by monks visiting the mainland from the monastery on St Michael’s Mount — Britain’s version of Mont Saint-Michel in Normandy — that you can see from the harbour jagging upwards in the distance like a misshapen pyramid.
Quirky and cosy seemed to be the best adjectives to describe the Abbey. I had a restful night’s sleep, awaking to the sound of squealing seagulls. After a shower — “you will need to run the hot tap for a while: it does take a few minutes!” said a Post-it Note — I investigated the lounge.
This was slightly eccentrically decorated with Buddhist figures, collections of porcelain plates, a peacock-shaped fireguard, figurines, squashy sofas and a bookcase stocked with Paul Theroux, P. G. Wodehouse and Kingsley Amis. Windows looked on to a garden with a big wall at the end.
Reflecting on how close I’d come to sleeping on a bench I ate a wonderful cooked breakfast by a crackling fire . . . my faith in Cornwall’s hospitality fully restored.
Need to know: The Abbey Hotel (01736 366906, www.theabbeyonline.co.uk), Abbey Street, Penzance, Cornwall TR18 4AR
Mystery Guest paid £90 for a B&B room
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