Hi Jane, I am planning a honeymoon in Italy for the first two weeks in July, 2008. We will have with us our 7.5 month baby. Are there any suggestions you could give us for properties that include approved nannies or baby-sitting, so that we could spend some days or evenings on our own?

Alternatively, my mother has suggested that she comes too … before the groom gasps with horror as this is our honeymoon – she has suggested that she have a granny flat or perhaps stays a mile or so away from us – so that she can baby-sit any time we need – but stay out of our way when not needed. We’d need a hire car to share between us for shuttling. Our budget is around £2,500 for the travel and accommodation. Thanks. Anita Macdonald via e-mail

Times online family travel expert Jane Owen replies:

Italians adore babies. What's more, babies and children are welcome everywhere at all times of day and night. If you take your baby out with you, you'll make instant friends and have instant babysitters in the shape of waiters and waitresses who'll keep the baby happy while you eat.

On the other hand, if you want your honeymoon to revolve around rumpled sheets, romantic walks,elegant drinks and a bit of clubbing why take the baby?

It is possible to arrange baby sitting at places like Club Med but they aren't always the most romantic places to be. And plenty of Italian hotels will arrange baby sitting but, either way, how will you feel about leaving your baby with people you don't know even if they have references and qualifications?

Then there's the cost of baby-sitting - some swanky hotels charge up to 50 Euros an hour. Your mother's kind and generous offer is one solution but will you really feel OK about leaving your mother and baby alone while you go off and have fun? And, in all honesty, will your husband be so thrilled to have his mother in law along?

Also, costs rocket with four rather than two of you. Some have deals for modest apartments or hotels which include cars but, for a couple of weeks you're still looking at nearly £1,500 for four of you - and that's before you've paid for flights, food and outings.

Finally - how are you going to feel with a new baby? I think it's very difficult to imagine until the baby arrives and, if I were you, I'd leave final booking until after the birth. That's certainly what I did.

When Rose, my first baby, was six months, I went to France for a five-day spa break. The spa catered for babies and, in the evenings, I'd walk to the local town, with Rose in a pram, for dinner. The mile or so walk gave us a chance tio 'talk' to each other and, in the restaurant, Rose became a great icebreaker - waiters and fellow diners came over to have a look at her and talk to me.

The truth is I would not have wanted to leave her for a moment at that stage - and I certainly wouldn't have enjoyed a honeymoon with her. You may or may not feel the same but, what worries me about your plan, is that you seem to be trying to please everyone - your husband, baby and mother - with the result that you will probably please no one, least of all yourself.

Got a question about family travel? Email our trio of experts at yoursay@timesonline.co.uk - Chloe Bryan-Brown takes care of questions for the 0-6 year olds, Emma Mahony handles the 7-12 age group and Jane Owen the teenage and single mother groups

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