Last week, I wrote an article for this section about babies on a plane - and how, if anyone had seen the movie Snakes on a Plane, in which people are attacked by snakes (on a plane), it was nothing; babies are worse.

I explained how I’d ended up trying to change a nappy in a galley on a British Airways flight, at the suggestion of an attendant so compassionate, I could have kissed her (not the right time).

I then went on to advise parents to travel with babies as little as possible, and offered other, more practical advice if they ignored me.

The response was, ahem, polarised. Many disagreed with my premise that you should never fly anywhere for fun if you have children under three. Some added their own excellent tips (eucalyptus oil, breastfeeding on takeoff and so on).

Many, many others were in a quite different group, one that wanted children banned from aeroplanes. One reader called for the sacking of the attendant I could have kissed. Another said he’d be the first to book if an airline offered child-free flights.

Lisa from London, a woman not overburdened with maternal instinct, said: “How about airlines charge a premium for breeders and their kids?” Sheesh. Had the opposing camps been in a pub, a fight would have broken out.

So, let me make my position clear. I shall be throwing bar stools with the pro-baby gang, even though I think flying with kids is horrible and should be avoided if at all possible.

Why? Because the other camp consists, Lisa from London apart, of the miserable flying businessman, and if there’s one thing worse than snakes or even babies on planes, it’s grumpy businessmen.

If you are one, I have 10 tips to make your journey (and everyone else’s) more bearable.

1 Just because you are in business class and have a laptop with spreadsheets on, doesn’t make you better than everyone else. It is unlikely you paid for your own seat and if you did, that was a waste of money.

Sip your champagne more humbly. Feel compassion, not smugness, towards us hoi polloi down the back. Smugness kills.

2 When you look at yourself in the mirror, you see a winner. An international jet-setter. A tiger. You may even growl sexily. But you have a big belly and podgy arms. Please confine yourself to your own seat. Do not spill out of it.

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